Guilty As Sin
by mpmuskie
Summary: What if Pony had died that night at the fountain? Could the gang live with the guilt? 'Cause weren't they all a little guilty?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own The Outsiders. All rights belong to the talented S.E. Hinton.

Chapter 1

When the phone rang, I nearly jumped out of my skin. I had been trying to read the same article in the newspaper for over an hour now, but couldn't concentrate. I still couldn't believe I had hit Pony. I hoped this was him asking us to come get him or at least telling us where he was. "Hello?"

"Darrel Curtis?"

I set my jaw for the blow. There was something wrong. No one ever calls me Darrel anymore, unless it's something bad. "Yes, this is Darrel," I said in as calm of a tone as I could manage.

"Are you the legal guardian of Ponyboy Curtis?"

My heart sank and my stomach flopped. Not Pony. "Yes, I am. Is he ok?"

"We need you to come to the hospital. Ponyboy's here."

"Is he ok?" I demanded this time. I could sound older than I was sometimes and this was one of those times I needed it.

"I'm not allowed to discuss the condition of any of our patients over the telephone, Mr. Curtis. You will be fully informed of his condition upon your arrival."

"Thank you," I said and set down the telephone. I looked over at Soda, who was asleep on the couch. "Come on, little buddy, we have to go," I said as I shook his shoulder.

"It's too early for work," Soda mumbled.

"It's Pony."

Soda was fully awake then. "Where is he? Is he ok?"

"He's at the hospital and they wouldn't tell me how he was over the phone. Get your shoes on. We gotta go." I sounded calm even though I wasn't. Whatever had happened to him, however bad he was, it was my fault.

Soda didn't need anymore convincing. He was out the door and in the truck almost immediately. I grabbed our jackets. The night was still chilly. I couldn't blame Soda for forgetting though. I knew he was worried about Pony. I was worried about all of us.

We rode to the hospital in silence, both of us worried, neither wanting the other to know. But we did know. It didn't take long to get there. Part of me didn't want to go in. I could never forgive myself if something bad had happened to Pony. I was supposed to protect him.

Soda was out of the truck before I turned off the engine. His shoes were still in his hands. I guess he forgot them too. He was running at a dead sprint. I caught up with him at the registration desk.

"I'm his other brother," Soda whined.

"I'm Darrel Curtis. We got a call saying my brother, Ponyboy, was here."

"One moment, please," the nurse said flipping through papers. "I'll get the doctor." She walked away from us.

Soda let out a strangled sob. "Why won't they tell us anything?" He was so miserable.

"I don't know, little buddy," I said trying to reassure him. It didn't work, just like I knew it wouldn't.

A few minutes later, a man came walking towards us. He was wearing a white coat, so I figured he must be the doctor. Soda and I both jumped to our feet.

"Mr. Curtis?"

Both Soda and I said yes. I cleared my throat. "I'm Darrel Curtis," I said offering my hand.

The doctor shook my hand briefly. "If you would come with me," he said and turned to walk away from us. I followed him, with Soda right behind me. I hoped he was taking us to Pony. "How's my brother?" I asked breaking the silence.

The doctor sighed and indicated that we should go into a room. "Just Darrel, please," the doctor said.

"But..." Soda started to protest.

"I'll just be a minute, little buddy," I said. "I'll let you know as soon as I can." Soda looked at me pleadingly. "It'll be ok, little buddy," I assured again as I followed the doctor into the room.

The doctor closed the door and I heard Soda shift in front of it so he could hear to. The doctor opened a set of blinds along one wall. "Is that your brother?" he asked.

I didn't want to look. I could tell by the doc's tone it wasn't good. I had to look. I swallowed a lump in my throat and turned to look through the window. My little brother was laying there on a metal gurney. He looked asleep. He seemed so small just then. I looked for a long time, trying to figure it out.

"Mr. Curtis?" the doctor prompted. I could only nod my head. "I'm sorry, Mr. Curtis. There was nothing we could do for him."

I shut my eyes and felt the hot tears trickling down my face. "How..." I managed to squeek out.

"He was forcefully drowned."

My eyes shot open. "Murdered?" I could hardly believe I was asking this about my baby brother.

"That's what we believe at this time."

"Who..." I was shaking so hard. I would find whoever did this to my little brother and make him pay. First Mom and Dad and now Pony too? It all seemed like some kind of sick joke.

"We were hoping you could help us with that," the doctor said plainly.

"We?" I asked looking around. Then I heard Soda screaming in the hall. I flew open the door as quick as I could.

"I'm not going with you," Soda was screaming over and over. There was a well dressed lady standing near him.

"Yes, you are young man," she said sternly and reached out for him.

"Excuse me, what's going on here?" I asked in the most menacing voice I could muster right then.

"And you are?" the lady asked me coolly.

"I'm Darrel Curtis, his legal guardian."

"Not any longer. I have an emergency order to remove Sodapop from your custody immediately."

"What?" I was shocked and stunned. I could not lose both brothers in one night.

"The court felt that it would be in Sodapop's best interest to be some place safer until the investigation into your other brother's death is complete."

"Darry?" Soda screamed at me.

I hated this lady right now. I looked at my younger brother. His eyes were wild with grief, panic and fear. I looked at him steadily and just gave my head a slight nod. It was going to kill Soda, but he had to know.

"Ma'am," I said quietly, "we just lost our baby brother. I think it would be in Soda's best interest to stay with me."

"I'm sorry, Mr. Curtis, but the court doesn't agree. Once we can determine what your level of involvement with Ponyboy's death is, then we can re-evaluate the situation."

"My involvement? You think I am responsible for Pony's death?" I was practically screaming now too.

"Mr. Curtis, it is routine procedure. I do not know what part you played in this, but I will find out. Until that time, the court says Soda cannot stay with you."

"No" Soda screamed. I watched him sway on his feet. I thought he was going to faint.

"Easy, Soda," I said calmly and took a step towards him.

Soda just shook his head at me. There was fire in his eyes. I could see the hate. I knew he blamed me for all of this, and I knew he was right. I couldn't think about that now. I had to try and keep what was left of our family together.

The lady stepped in front of me. "It's time for us to go, Sodapop," she said. Soda looked at her with the same hate he had looked at me with. He just shook his head again.

Then he turned and ran. We still weren't very far from the emergency entrance. Soda was outside before the social services lady could catch up to him. I didn't even try.

I stood in that hall, feeling numb inside. Both brothers in one night. I couldn't take this. But I was Superman. I had to keep it together. I had to figure out what happened. But I guess I already knew at least part of what happened. I had hit my little brother and drove him out of our house and now he was dead and I couldn't fix it this time.

"Mr. Curtis." The social services lady's voice snapped me back to this moment. "Do you have any idea where your brother might be going?"

I looked her in the eyes. I had plenty of ideas, but none I planned to tell her. "I really don't know," I Said. "I've never seen him this upset."

"Once we find him, we will need to have a conversation about your involvement in all of this. Until that time, you are to have no contact with Soda at all"

I just nodded. What else could I do. I hoped she would leave soon. I needed to find my brother. I didn't care what she said. Soda was still my brother and still my responsibility. I watched as she gave me a curt nod and walked away. 


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own The Outsiders. All rights belong to the talented S.E. Hinton.

Chapter 2

I hung around the hospital a little longer. I needed to start making the arrangements for Pony's funeral. I hated how that sounded. I also wanted to make sure the lady from social services was good and gone. I had to try to find Soda. I had to try to make this right with him. I couldn't lose both brothers.

By the time I got in my truck, the sun was starting to rise. It had been a long night. A long terrible night.

When I got back to our neighborhood, I started looking for Soda. I drove past the DX, but it was still too early for anyone to be there. I drove up and down the streets getting closer to our house. I didn't want to go down our street. I didn't really think Soda would be there anyway. He blamed me.

I passed the lot slowly.I looked hard, maybe Soda had come here to think. He would do that sometimes. The lot was empty, like everything else. I drove down our street feeling the knot in my stomach. As I drove past our house, the knot threatened to squeeze everything else inside too. Our house was empty, which I had expected. What I wasn't expecting was how dead the house looked, like it knew our family would never be there as a family again.

After another hour of driving and looking for Soda, I decided it was time to go to the house for real. I don't think I could ever think of it as home again. I saw the light in the living room on when I pulled in the driveway. Maybe Soda was here after all. Maybe he wasn't so mad after all. I sprinted up the steps and through the door, letting it close with a bang. "Soda?" I hollered.

"What's goin' on?" a voice that wasn't Soda's asked.

My shoulders slumped a little when it wasn't Soda. I looked over to the couch to see Steve streched out there. The shiner under his right eye told me why he was there. "You seen Soda?"

"Nah. Where have y'all been? It was weird comin' in here and no one bein' here."

I slumped in my armchair. "We were at the hospital and Soda tore out of there. I was just hoping that he had made it hback before me."

Just then the door squeaked open again. Two-Bit wondered in still half drunk. "Hey, where's the funeral?" he asked jokingly. I wished greasers would sleep in sometimes.

I cleared my throat. The tears were starting to gather in the corners of my eyes. I had to tell them, but how? They were both looking at me now with strange looks on their faces.

"Darry?" Steve asked.

I cleared my throat again, fighting the tears. They would eventually win, but not now, I thought. "Pony," I whispered.

"What are you saying, Darry?" Two-Bit asked. He had sobered up real quick.

"Pony's dead," I managed to whisper.

Steve jumped to his feet. "What? What are you talkin' about, Darry? What happened?"

The tears came then. I looked at two of our gang helplessly. "I don't know. We had a fight and I..." I trailed off. Could I tell them what I did? Should I? Would they blame me too?

"And you..." Two-Bit prompted.

I shook my head slightly. "I don't know. Pony ran off and then we got the call saying he was at the hospital. I had to tell them it was Pony. Some lady from the state came and tried to take Soda but he ran. I just don't know where Soda is."The boys stared back at me, dumbstruck.

The phone rang and I sprang for it. "Soda?"

"This is Linda Blake from social services," the woman said. "I do believe I informed you earlier that you were not to have contact with Sodapop."

I rested my head against the door frame. "Yes, ma'am you did. I was just hoping to know if he was alright."

"I was calling in regards to that," Ms. Blake said curtly. My stomach clenched. I didn't know if I could take more bad news just then. "I need a list of all of Sodapop's friends."

"Why?"

"Mr. Curtis," she said "We still have not found your brother. We need to know where he might have gone. And, Mr. Curtis, if you know something and don't tell us, it will make it that much harder."

I banged my head softly on the door frame. What was I supposed to do here? Do I tell her and make it easier to find Soda before I could? If I don't tell her, what then?

"Mr. Curtis, are you still there?"

I cleared my throat again. It was so full of tears. "Yes, ma'am, I am."

"Did you hear me?"

"Yes, ma'am, I was just tryin' to think. Steve Randle is Soda's best friend." I cut a glance to Steve, hoping he would understand. I would make him some how. Steve just scowled back at me.

"Any other friends?"

"Yes, ma'am," I continued. "Two...I mean, Keith Mathews." I didn't dare look at Two-Bit. "Johnny Cade and Da..." I stopped myself. I didn't think she would like hearing that we hhung with someone like Dally.

"And who?" she pressed.

"And his girlfriend, Sandy White. and the guys at the DX, where he works" i said hurriedly.

"Anyone else?"

"Not that I can think of right now."

"Well if you think of someone else, be sure to let us know promptly."

"Yes, Ma'am," I said. "Ma'am, can I ask a question now?"

"Yes?" She sounded exasperated.

"Will you let me know when you find Soda?" I asked.

"We will."

I sighed. I didn't know how long I could take it if they wouldn't tell me anything. "Thank you, ma'am."

"Mr. Curtis, you must extend us the same favor," she said.

"Yes, ma'am. Thank you, ma'am" I said and hung up. I groped my way back to the armchair.

Steve was still scowling at me. "Why'd you give her our names?" Steve could be pretty demanding when he wanted to be. "Why didn't you tell her we were with you and didn't know where Soda was either?"

I sighed. "It might buy us some time to find Soda first. If they are off tryin' to find you guys, they won't be looking so hard for Soda. I know where you guys are so that's one step I don't have to do.

Two-Bit spoke up then. "Not all of us," he said.

"What do you mean?" Steve was angry with everyone now.

"Where's Johnny?" Two-Bit asked in a small voice.  



	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own The Outsiders

Chapter 3  
I Groaned. Not someone else lost. Would this ever end?  
"Last time I saw Johnnycakes, he was with Pony," Two-Bit said slowly.  
I closed my eyes. This couldn't be happening. Think, Curtis, I chided myself. I have to fix this. I have to make it all right. For everybody. "Two-Bit, check the hospital for Johnny, would ya?" I asked without opening my eyes.  
"Sure Darry."  
I could hear him get up from the couch. Steve was rhythmicly pacing our small living room. I could tell he was antsy. We all were. "Steve, go look for Soda alright buddy?"  
"And what are you going to do?" Steve asked. The hate in his voice was unmistakeable, or so I thought.  
I sighed. "I'm gonna stay here in case the state calls with news. Maybe try to get some sleep. I didn't get any last night."  
My answer didn't seem to make Steve any happier. He slammed the door behind him after he and Two-Bit left. At least he left. I stretched out on the couch and tried to sleep. My mind was spinning too fast though. How was I supposed to fix this? Not even Superman could bring back the dead. But I had to get Soda back. And Johnny. God, what about Johnny? Was he dead in the morgue too? I pushed that thought aside. It wasn't going to help right now.  
I must have dozed off because the phone startled me awake. I was starting to hate that blasted contraption. It seemed to only be able to deliver bad news. I thought for a second about not answering, but knew that wasn't a good idea. What if it was Soda and he needed my help? I stumbled over to answer the phone. "'lo?" "Darry, it's Two-bit." His voice didn't sound quite right.  
More bad news I thought. "Did ya find Johnny," I asked, not sure I wanted to know the answer.  
"Yeah, he's over at Buck Merril's place with Dally."  
"Is he ok, Two-Bit?"  
"Dally's just fine, thanks for asking," Two-Bit answered. I think he was trying to lighten the mood. Two-Bit was always trying to find the funny side of life.  
"Two-Bit" I said, warningly.  
"The kid's not so hot, Darry. He got jumped last night and is pretty beaten. He keeps asking about Pony."  
"Didya tell him?"  
"I just can't, Darry."  
"Then bring him over here, and Dally too. The more people we have looking for Soda the better chance we have of findin' him first. And maybe Johnny knows something about last night."  
"Yeah, alright, but Darry?"  
"Yeah."  
"Go easy on the kid. He's pretty shaken."  
I hung up the phone. Weren't we all pretty shaken? I wondered dumbly how cops could do this every day. Tellin' someone that one of their loved ones is dead is hard. And I didn't think there was any way to do it easy.  
I was pushing around some eggs on my plate when they got here. I heard the car doors shut first, then the house door. I didn't want to turn around. How can I tell Johnny and Dally about this?  
"What did you do?" I heard someone growl at me. I knew that growl. Dally was in a dangerous mood. I stood up and faced Dally and Two-Bit. "Dally, I..."  
I was cut off by another growl from Dally. "Did you hit him?" My mind reeled. How did Dally know? Had Johnny told him? I was sure Pony would have told Johnny what had happened that night.  
"Listen, I didn't mean to," I managed to stammer out. I looked at Dally then. I had seen hate in his eyes before, but never aimed at me. I was a little scared, if you want the truth. I wasn't achin' to fight Dally.  
Dally punched me square in the chin. I stumbled back, but managed to keep my feet. "That's for Johnny." He was still growling. He advanced on me and I had no place to go.  
"Johnny?" I asked still trying to keep as much distance between us as possible.  
"Yeah, Johnny," Dally said punching me again. He hit my chest this time. "You know, the little kid you beat on last night."  
"I didn't touch Johnny," I yelled.  
Two-Bit piped up then. "Dally, I don't think it was Darry. Listen to him." Dally turned to Two-Bit, still looking to fight.  
"I told you I'd kill anyone who hurt Johnny, and if that means Darry Curtis, I don't care."  
"Why do you think I hurt Johnny?" I asked.  
Dally wheeled back on me. "He said he was with Pony last night and now he's covered in bruises. You must think you're a pretty big man to beat on Johnny."  
"Yeah, well, let me tell you something Dallas Winston. I didn't touch Johnny last night or any night," I yelled. "And at least Johnny's ok. Pony's in the morgue."  
Dally stopped coming at me then. It looked like all of the fight just suddenly left him. "What? What did you say?"  
I sat down in the arm chair and rested my head in my hands. "Pony was killed last night." All of the fight had left me too. That spark of adrenaline was wearing off quick and I was just exhausted.  
"Man, what kinda town is this where little kids can get hurt and killed. Sure, I saw this in New York, but i didn't think I'd see it here," Dally said sinking onto our couch. That was quite a speech for Dally."Darry, I would never have punched you if I had known what was what."  
"i know," I said resignedly. "We good?"  
"Yeah, we're good." Dally turned to Two-Bit then. "Gimme your keys."  
Two-Bit gulped and jumped a little. "What for, Dally?"  
"I'm gonna go get Johnny. I'm gonna get it outta him who did this. And I'll kill them myself." Dally was still in a dangerous mood. I think that's why Two-Bit gave him the keys. "I'll be back in 20 minutes," he said as he walked out of our house.  
Two-Bit and I just looked at each other as Dally screamed off. It took 20 minutes just to get to Buck's. I don't think either of us really wanted to know how Dally was going to get there and back in 20 minutes.

***  
A/N: Thanks for the reviews. Here's my thoughts on why Soda wasn't sent to live with a relative. In the book, no relatives are ever mentioned. And I also reason that Darry wouldn't be given custody of Soda and Pony if there were other adult relatives close by to take care of them. That's just what I think.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own any rights to The Outsiders.

Chapter 4

I spent the next few minutes just staring at the door. I was glad that Johnny and Dally were alright and I hoped Soda was too. I knew he blamed me for what happened. I didn't care about facing Soda mad, as long as he was alright.

I stood up suddenly. The inactivity was eating at me. I knew I should be looking for Soda, but also knew Steve had a better chance of finding him. I went to the kitchen and scraped my uneaten eggs in to the trash. I walked over to the sink and started washing the plate.

It was too quiet. Two-Bit was still in the living room, but just sitting there. The TV wasn't on, or the radio. No one was rough housin' or laughin' at some joke or another. It was almost never quiet in our house.

Just when I thought I couldn't stand the quiet anymore, I heard Two-Bit's car pull in our driveway. Dally had to practically drag Johnny through the door. I've never known Johnny to be afraid of our house. Johnny's face looked a little green, but I couldn't tell if that was the bruises or not. Two-Bit let out a low whistle. "They got you pretty good, kid?" It was a question, not a statement.

"Yeah," Johnny mumbled. Johnny has beenmore quiet since the last time he got jumped. I was surprised to hear him say anything at all.

"I'm a bit confused about somethin'" Dally said. "If it wasn't Johnny you hit last night, was it Pony?"

I sank in the armchair. Two-Bit and Dally were looking at me strangely. Two-Bit's mouth just hung open. "You wouldn't hit Pony, would you?" Two-Bit asked.

I still had no answer for them. I felt ashamed and guilty. My face was flushed with it.

"Tell them," someone said. I had been too caught up in my own thoughts to hear anyone come in. "Soda?" I asked looking up. I didn't have to ask though. I already knew it was him. I stood and took a step toward him. I was ready to just grab him in a bear hug and never let go.

Soda took a step back. If Steve hadn't been between Soda and the door, I think he would have bolted again. "Tell them how you chased our little brother away. Tell them that was the only reason he was out that late. Tell them." Soda was yelling and ready for a fight. I hated it.

I sank back against the armchair. "He's right," I mumbled. I could feel all of their eyes burning on me. I took a deep shuttery breath. "Pony was late comin' home last night."

I heard Johnny gasp. "Darry..."

I just shook my head at him. It was my time to explain how I caused the death of Pony. "It was about 2 o'clock in the morning when he came in. I was so mad at him. I was tired and worried. I yelled at him. Soda tried to stop us fightin'. I was too worked up by then. I yelled at Soda to keep his trap shut. Pony yelled at me to not yell at Soda. And I lost it. I slapped Pony across the face. Him yellin' at me just made me see red. I don't know..." I trailed off, tears running freely now. I looked up at our gang. They were all still staring at me, except Soda. He was staring down at his shoes and refused to look at me. "I'm so sorry," I muttered miserably and sat back in my chair.

No one said anything for a long time. Dally just let his eyes burn in mine, his jaw set. Two-bit's mouth still hung open. Johnny and Steve just looked around, anywhere but at me or Dally. It was Steve who broke the silence.

"Was it Socs?" Steve asked Johnny, pulling all of us out of our own thoughts.

"Yeah," he muttered softly.

Dally's jaw clentched even tighter. I thought he would start breaking teeth soon. The icy fire was still in his eyes, but, for now, it wasn't directed at me. "Who was it?" he growled between his teeth.

"I...I...I dunno, man," Johnny stammered. "Just some Socs. There were four or five of them and they were all drunk. They beat me up and...Pony."

I snapped my head over to look at him. Johnny sank even further into the sofa. He looked like he wanted to be anywhere but there. "You... you were with him last night?"

"Yeah," Johnny said miserably.

"Why didn't you help him?" I yelled. I was shaking with all of the emotion of the last few hours. I wanted it to be someone else's fault, not mine, that Pony was dead. I wanted someone else to feel the burden of blame. I didn't care just then if that someone else was another scared hurt kid or not.

Dally got up and stood defensively between me and Johnny. "Leave him be," Dally hissed at me. "You ain't gonna blame him, you hear me? Did you even listen? Johnny said there were 4 or 5 drunk Socs. Not even two of any of the rest of us could call that a fair fight."

It made my head spin to hear Dally talking about a fair fight.

Soda made his way over to Johnny and flung a protective arm over his shoulders. "Easy, Johnny. No one's going to hurt you."

"Nah," Johnny said, wiping angrily at his face. "Just blame -m-me."

"I don't blame you, kid." I was starting to feel sick. Did all of our gang now see me as a monster? "I know it wasn't your fault. Damn Socs."

"I ran," Johnny stated simply.

"What?" Soda asked, no anger in his voice like there had been in mine.

"I told y'all they beat me pretty good. I must have blacked out or somethin', 'cause when I woke up, they weren't there any more. I heard the sirens. I took a quick look around to find Pony. When I saw him just layin' there, I ran. I thought he would be ok, that the cops would help him." Johnny broke into sobs. "I'm s-s-s-so s-s-s-sorry," He choked out."

Soda rocked Johnny gently, trying to calm him. "Easy, Johnnycakes," Soda said softly. "You couldn't have helped him then."

"Was it the same guys as before?" Steve asked.

Johnny nodded his head. He was still sobbing, but calming down. Soda had that kind of effect on people.

"I'll kill them," Dally erupted. He flew out the door before anyone could stop him. Two-Bit groaned when the engine revved. Dally still had Two-Bit's keys. 


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own any rights to The Outsiders.

Chapter 5

The house was mostly quiet then. Johnny's sobs had quieted down to only sniffles. He looked so broken. I knew it would take a long time for him to really understand that all of this wasn't his fault. I just hoped he could.

Two-Bit moved over to the sofa, on the other side of Johnny. Soda moved his arm so Two-Bit could put his around Johnny's shoulders. "You ok, kid?" he asked with unusual sincerity.

"Yeah," Johnny sighed miserably. I think we all knew it would be a long time before Johnny was ok.

"Listen, kid, those Socs were just finishing the fight I started."

"Stop it!" Steve erupted. "I ain't gonna listen to one more person blame himself for this." He was getting a full head of steam rolling. "Darry, it's not your fault because you hit the kid. Not cool that you did, but that doesn't mean you killed him." We all blanched a little when Steve said Killed. "Soda, it's not your fault because you didn't stop Darry and Pony fightin'. Johnny, it's not your fault because you left. And Two-Bit, it's not your fault because you picked a fight with those Socs. Soda and me have picked lots of fights with Socs and nobody died. It was those..." Steve went on calling the Socs every hateful name he could think of.

"So what do we do now?" Johnny said. He was starting to believe Steve. His big black eyes were starting to turn from the look of misery to a look of hate. "We gotta get them for this."

"No way," I said sternly. "We're in enough trouble, we don't need more."

"What trouble are we in?" Two-Bit asked.

"Dally ran off. We all know he'll get himself in some trouble. He'll need us then." I said simply.

The gang was quiet for a moment, all thinking of the kind of Trouble Dally was likely to find. I hoped it was only a fight. But you never could tell with Dallas Winston.

"We gotta do something," Soda echoed.

"The first thing we need to do is figure out what to do with you," I said looking at him. He was looking back. I could still see the hate in his eyes, but I don't think it was all at me anymore. I could see his shame too. Shame that we didn't protect Pony better.

"me?"

"Yeah, little buddy, the state's still looking for you."

Steve snorted. "How hard do you think they'll look for a runaway greaser?"

I let what Steve said sink in. He was probably right...again. I just wasn't sure I wanted to take chances. "If they find out that I know where Soda is and I didn't tell them, I may lose custody."

"I'm almost 17," Soda shrugged.

"I know," I said. "Do you want to risk a bigger tear in the family?"

"Of course not," Soda shot back. "I'm just sayin' I'm almost too old for them to decide what's best for me."

I sighed. I didn't want to fight with Soda. I don't think I could have explained how afraid I was of losing him too.

"What you start a fight with the Socs about last night?" Steve asked Two-Bit.

Two-Bit chuckled a little. "Broads."

Steve rolled his eyes. "I should have guessed. Let me guess, one was blonde."

Two-Bit's chuckle was turning into a full on laugh. "Not this time Steve-o. Two Socy broads even."

"What happened?" I asked. Maybe we could get some answers and find out who killed Pony.

"Johnny here and Pony picked up these two Socy broads at the movie..." Two-Bit started.

"Dally was pickin' on them and i...uh...I told Dally to back off and he left," Johnny broke in quietly.

"I ran into them a little later," Two -Bit continued. "When the movie ended, we all kinda realized they didn't have a way home."

"They walked to the Nightly Double?" Soda asked.

"Nah," Two-Bit said. "They went with their Soc boyfriends, but when said boyfriends started drinkin' they left. We offered to walk them home."

Steve snorted again. "Two-Bit, I don't know how you do it!"

Two-Bit just cocked an eyebrow at Steve. "Do what?"

"Come up with those ridiculous ideas. Walkin' to the West Side? Are you crazy?"

"No," Two-Bit said, sticking out his chest. "I just wasn't gonna let two girls like that walk alone on the East Side. Besides, they wouldn't let us walk them home."

"So what did happen?" I asked exasperated. I wanted to know who hurt my little brother something fierce by now.

"We were all walkin' to my place so I could drive them home," Two-Bit said.

"In your hunk of junk?" Steve asked smirking.

"Shut up and let him finish," Soda said to Steve. Steve leaned against the door and crossed his arms over his chest. He glared sulkily at Soda, but didn't say anything.

"We never made it to my house anyway," Two-Bit shrugged. "Their boyfriends pulled up in this Mustang..."

"That was one tuff car," Johnny chimed in.

"Yeah, it was a tuff car, kid," Two-Bit said. "I could tell the girls didn't really want to go with them. The name callin' started and I busted a pop bottle and tossed it to Pony and pulled out my blade."

I just shook my head. "How many of them?"

"Six, I think," Two-Bit shrugged again.

"There were only 5 later," Johnny said.

I nodded. The three of them could have probably handled 6 Socs, but Johnny and Pony couldn't take 5 Socs on their own. They are both good fighters and all, but I didn't think any of us could really take on those odds.

The house was quiet again.

The rest of the day was like that. We'd talk for a little bit, but it was mostly quiet. No one even turned on the TV. Steve and Two-Bit came and went a little, but they were mostly there. Johnny stayed the whole day.I guess the boys didn't want to leave me and Soda alone. I don't know if they thought we would fight or just that we needed company. Either way, I think they were right. I would have to talk to Soda alone sometime. I would have to let him yell and get his frustration out. I still wished it wasn't going to be on me.

I made dinner for everyone. Most of it ended up in the trash. No one was really hungry, although I knew none of them had eaten much all day. I took a shower and sat down wearily in the armchair. It was only about 8 o'clock, but it had been a very long day. Soda noticed I had started dozing off and ushered me to bed. I told him I wasn't tired and wanted to be there when Dally called or came back, but he didn't believe me. He promised to let me know if there was any word from Dally. I let him push me to my room and into bed. It didn't take long for me to be sound asleep. I only hoped tomorrow would be better.

A/N: Reviews are much appreciated!


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I don't own any rights to The Outsiders.

Chapter 6

I was startled when I woke up and saw what time it was. It was later than I normally sleep. If I didn't get moving we would all be late. I jumped out of bed. I had to get Pony up for school. It was Monday, after all. I had to get ready for work and so did Soda.

When reality hit, it hit hard. I slumped back down on the bed. Pony was dead. My boss had given me the week off, just like he had done when our parents died. Social services was still looking for Soda, as far as I knew. They wanted to investigate my involvement with Pony's death. I don't remember them asking about my involvement when our parents died, but I guess that's because theirs was an accident and Pony's wasn't.

The tears came then. I couldn't fight them anymore. Why was this happening to our family? Why did bad things seem to follow us? I sobbed quietly, my whole body shaking with the tears. My stomach gave a lurch and I thought I was going to be sick.

"You ok?" a soft voice came from the door.

I wiped at my face hurridly. I wasn't about to let anyone see me so completely broken. I looked up and saw Soda. I was grateful it was him and not one of our gang. Soda would understand. "Yeah, little buddy," I croaked.

Soda came in and sat down next to me on the bed. He made no effort to comfort me. I knew he was still mad about the whole mess. "He thought you hated him," Soda said flatly.

I groaned. Pony died thinking I hated him? I didn't hate Pony, only wanted better for him. "If you're trying to make me feel better, you're doin' a lousy job kiddo," I quipped.

"I'm not trying to make you feel anything," Soda said. "Just lettin' you know the score. I tried to make him understand that you didn't hate him. I knew why you were pushin' him so hard. I just don't think I got through to him."

"Shoot, kid, Pony wouldn't let anything he didn't believe through. It wasn't your fault," I said,, rubbing his hair.

"He was just a kid, Darry. Why'd they hurt him like that?" Soda asked, still miserable and reeling from the shock of what happened.

"I don't know. I just don't know." I sighed.

A sound from the kitchen caught my attention then. I guessed one of the boys had stayed the night and was now looking for breakfast. I looked at Soda. "You ok?" I asked him.

His eyes had gone shiny with the tears that threatened. He blinked several times before he answered. "Yeah, I'm ok."

"Then we better get out there before there's no food left."

Soda smiled briefly. I followed him into the kitchen. I wasn't real surprised to see Two-Bit going through the icebox. I was surprised when I looked over to the living room. Steve and Johnny were still there too. Even with 5 boys in the house, it was still unnaturally quiet.

"You're out of cake," Two-Bit grumbled.

"I'll make something," Soda offered.

Two-Bit, Steve and Johnny all said "No." I had to smile. They must have remembered Soda's green pancakes.

"Eggs ok with everyone?" I asked, pushing Soda aside. Since I heard no protests, I scrambled the whole dozen eggs. For 5 boys, that wasn't much. Surprisingly, I ate all of my portion and so did Soda. Neither of us had eaten much since we found out about Pony.

I nearly had a heart attack when Two-Bit and Steve offered to do the dishes. I guess I still looked wiped out. I went and grabbed the newspaper. Settling back in the armchair, I started looking through it. I was looking for any mention of what had happened to Pony. Maybe the cops had already caught the guys responsible. I wasn't surprised, though, when there was nothing. No one cared if a greaser was dead. Even if that greaser was just a kid.

The gang stayed around all day. Two-Bit and Steve would go out occasionally, but they were never gone for long. I even managed to get Steve to pick us up a couple dozen eggs. I figured if the guys were going to hang around like this we would need them. The afternoon passed much like yesterday. Some talkin' but mostly quiet.

It was late in the afternoon when someone knocked on our door. Since most of the gang was here already, and Dally wouldn't knock, I was a little worried. I sent Soda a nervous glance. He got my message and headed down the hall to his room. I couldn't have cops come in and have Soda just sittin' out in the open like that. He could get out of the house from his room if he needed to anyway.

After I knew Soda was in his room, I went and opened the door. A young red-headed girl stood there, looking nervous herself. "Can I help you?" I asked.

"Is Pony home?" she asked.

"Who's askin" I said, none to friendly. Not only was there a strange girl at our door, but she was asking about my dead brother. Something wasn't right about this.

She blushed a little. "My name's Cherry."

"Are you a friend of Pony's?" I asked. I still wasn't ready to tell this stranger Pony was dead.

"Not really," she said. "I mean I just met him a few days ago. I noticed he wasn't at school today and just wanted to know if he was ok."

Two-Bit was beside me then. "Whadda you want?" He asked. I had never heard him sound so cold.

"I heard Bob and Randy talking about jumping a couple greasers after taking us home. I knew it had to be Johnny and Pony. I just wanted to see if Pony was ok," she said with a helpless shrug.

"They didn't get the story quite right, doll," Two-Bit said. I shot him a warning glance. If she knew something, maybe we could use it.

"How'd you get our address?" I asked.

Cherry blushed a little harder. "My friend, Marcia, works in the office at school. I asked her to get it for me." She rushed on, "Don't tell anyone, ok? Marcia could get in trouble for looking in his records."

"How come you ain't asking about Johnny?" Two-Bit asked.

Cherry shrugged again. "I didn't know his last name. Is he ok? And is Pony? You still haven't answered me."

She can be quite demanding I thought to myself.

Johnny was beside me then too. "Hey, Cherry," he said.

She gasped when she saw Johnny. He still looked pretty rough, and probably would for a few more days. "Johnny, I'm so sorry," Cherry said. "How's Pony?"

Johnny shrugged. "Like Two-Bit said, Randy and Bob didn't tell you the whole story."

"What's that mean?" she said pleading.

Johnny shot me a look. I sighed. "They killed Pony," I murmurred softly.

Cherry gasped again. "I'm so sorry," she said, starting to cry. "Is there anything I can do?"

"Haven't you done enough?" Two-Bit barked.

I shot him another look. He just threw his hands up and stalked away. "You can tell the police what you know," I said.

Cherry looked back at me, shaking her head. "I can't," she said. "I gotta go." She turned around and ran for her Sting Ray.

I closed the door when the engine came to life.

"We should go after her," Steve said.

I shook my head.

"She knows who killed Pony and where they are," Steve yelled.

"And what would you do if you got to them before the fuzz, little buddy?" I asked, cocking one eyebrow like Two-Bit.

"I'd kill them," Steve hollered.

"And that's why you won't follow her," I said with finality.

"The fuzz don't care about a dead greasser," Steve hollered back.

"Yeah, but they would care about a pair of dead Socs," I shot back. "use your head. The cops would be all over us in a heartbeat. We'll get them another way."

"How?" Steve demanded.

"I don't know yet, but killin' them isn't what we're gonna do, savvy?"

Steve just jammed his fists in the pockets of his jeans. I know he was itchin' to fight the Socs that took one of ours, but this wasn't the way. There was another way. I just needed to figure it out.

The boys were pretty quiet for the rest of the night. I was glad for that. I needed to think. We would get the Socs back for taking Pony. I just thought death was too good for them. I wanted them to remember my brother for the rest of their lives. I wanted them to suffer for what they had done, like me and Soda would, for the rest of their lives.

A/N:  
Reviews appreciated!

Y'all will find out what Dally's been up to in the next chapter.

Thanks for the tip about formatting. I went back and revised all of my earlier chapters. I didn't add anything, so if you've already read them, there's nothing new.

'Til next time! 


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I don't own any rights to The Outsiders. They all belong to the talented S.E. Hinton.

Chapter 7

I was already sitting at the kitchen table when Soda came shuffling out of his bedroom. He didn't look so hot. I guessed he wasn't getting much sleep either. "you ok, Soda?" I asked.

"Yeah, yeah," he mumbled.

Two-Bit, Steve and Johnny were all awake too. Johnny was just sitting on the sofa, staring off into space. I couldn't get any kind of real read off of him. I hoped he was ok. Two-Bit and Steve were at the ice box. I smiled and shook my head a little. Those two were always hunting food in our house.

Two-Bit came out of the ice box holding a plate. "What's this?" he asked the room in general.

Soda shrugged his shoulders. "Chocolate cake."

"It's blue!" Two-Bit exclaimed. "Now, I'm no chef or anything, but if it were chocolate cake, shouldn't it be brown or something?"

I took a drink of my coffee to hide my smile.

"Secret recipe," Soda said. "Man, if you don't want it, I'm sure Steve is man enough to eat it."

I looked at Steve. He swallowed hard. I think he was starting to turn green. "Ahhhhh..." was all Steve managed to say.

Johnny came over then. He didn't say anything, just looked at the blue chocolate cake and then to Two-Bit and Steve in turn. Nobody said anything for a long minute.

"Johnny will eat it," Soda finally said, getting up from his chair. He grabbed the plate off Two-Bit and set it on the counter. After rummaging through the drawers for a second, he found a knife and started cutting pieces of cake. He put one on a plate and tried to hand it to Johnny with a fork.

"I'm not hungry," Johnny muttered.

"Awww, come on kid," Two-Bit started in. "It'll put hair on your chest."

"no," Johnny said backing away. "If it's so great, you eat it Two-Bit."

The four boys kept going back and forth about who should try the cake first. I couldn't help but smile. I think Soda made it blue for this very reason. To get the boys joking around again. Soda was always good with making people happy.

The newspaper thwacking against the porch caught my attention. I got up from the table, still smiling. Maybe things were going to start getting a little easier. I know Pony had just died, but if this gang could hold together, then just maybe it would be ok.

As I bent to pick up the paper, one word of the headline caught my attention. I straightened up quickly and shook the paper open. I had to read the headline several times to make sure it said what I thought it did. When I was sure it did, I cursed loudly.

All of the joking from the kitchen stopped. Soda peeked his head around the door frame. "What's the matter?" he asked.

I cursed again. I walked to the kitchen and threw the paper down on the table so all of the guys could see the headline.

1 teenager Killed in Fight on West Side

There was more mumbled cursing. Soda just stared at the paper. He dropped the plate of blue chocolate cake he was still holding. The plate shattered and cake went skidding all over the floor.

Soda dropped to his knees and started to pick up the mess. Oh God," he said over and over.

I put my hands on his shoulders. "Easy, Soda," I said. "We're ok."

He just looked back at me, tears streaming silently down his face.

"Glory, look at the kid!" Two-Bit exclaimed.

By the time I had straightened up, Johnny was leaning heavily on Steve. "You ok?" I asked gently.

"That...That was one of the guys," Johnny said. He swallowed hard. "One of the guys that jumped me and Pony," he continued in a whisper.

"Are you sure?" Steve asked.

"Yeah, I'm sure," Johnny said. "I'm not likely to forget them."

I ran my fingers through my hair. I was sure the cops would come down on us for this, even though I knew we didn't do it. I was mad. Mad that someone had gone and killed this kid. Mad that it wasn't me. Mad that he made the front page and my brother got nothing. Mad that the cops could be here any time and Soda was here. Mad that this was all spinning out of control and there was nothing I could do about it.

the door flew open. Just as I was ready to tell Soda to run, I got a good look at who came in. It was Dally. "Where have you ben?" I shouted at him.

Dally put his hands up to his shoulders. "Gee, Dad, I didn't know I needed to check in," he retorted.

I was in no mood for Dally's smart mouth. I grabbed the paper off of the table and headed over to Dally. I was practically on top of him in three quick strides. Dally didn't move. He just stood there. "Did you do this?" I asked throwing the paper at him.

Dally just smirked when he saw the headline. "Nah, man, but I wish I had been there."

"So where the hell have you been?" I shouted again.

Dally looked at me coolly. Anyone else might have beat it out of there when Dally looked that way, but not me, not today. "I been with Shepard." he said. "We been gettin' the word out and seein' if anyone knew anything."

"Do you know who did this?" I asked pointing at the paper?

"I have a good idea," Dally shrugged.

"Then you need to tell the cops," I said.

Dally's eyes went wide and hard. "None of them gave a hang about Pony. I didn't see any of theirs rushin' to the fuzz to let them know who killed Pony. Why should I give a hang about one of theirs?"

"Dally..." I started.

"I get you want to get justice for Pony," Dally said. He said "justice" with such derision. "I know how you feel..."

I grabbed Dally by the collar of his shirt. "How can you know how I feel? I shouted, right in his face. "He wasn't your brother. He wasn't your responsibility."

Dally shoved me back hard. I stumbled a bit but kept my feet. "Maybe not blood, but he was my brother just as much as yours," Dally fired back.

We stood there for a few seconds, glaring daggers at each other.

"Stop it!" Soda practically screamed as he stepped between me and Dally. "Fightin' started this whole mess, it ain't gonna fix it."

I slumped back in my armchair. Soda was right. Hollerin' at Dally and maybe starting a fight wasn't going to make things better.

"I gotta go," Dally said.

"Wait," I said. "Where are you goin'?"

Dally sighed. "I'm gonna see if I can find Shepard again and see what went down with the Soc." He tossed Two-Bit his keys. "Thanks for the ride, man,," Dally said to Two-Bit.

"You walkin'?" Two-Bit asked.

"Nah," Dally shrugged. "Shepard lent me his wheels. I left it up at Buck's."

"Will you be back?" Johnny suddenly asked.

Dally's whole demeanor softened a bit. "Yeah, kid, I'll be back." Dally left again.

I decided right then and there that I would never understand Dallas Winston.

"Who wants cake?" Soda asked suddenly.

Two-Bit, Steve and Johnny just groaned.

I had to smile then. Maybe everything would still turn out ok.

A/N:

Thanks for sticking with me. Reviews appreciated as always.

To answer a comment, back in the mid 60's it was considered taboo to announce a student's death. The theory was to let the family greive in privacy. That's why Cherry didn't know Pony was dead.

P.S. All of my knowledge of the 60's is secondhand. I might be an old greaser, but I'm not that old :) 


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I don't own any rights to The Outsiders. They all belong to the charming S.E. Hinton.

Chapter 8

The rest of the morning was pretty...wel, normal. Two-Bit, Steve and Soda were playing cards, all seeing who could cheat without being caught. When one of the boys was caught, there was a raucus disagreement that usually ended with them all roughhousing around the living room. After they got tired of roughhousing, they would go back to playing cards, keeping a close eye on the previously caught cheater. This gave another guy the chance to get away with cheating for a bit, until, eventually he was also caught. They kept going rounds like this for hours. Johnny just sat quietly on the sofa. I wish there was more I could do for him, but I didn't know what.

I spent most of the morning cleaning up the kitchen. There was still glass and blue chocolate cake on the floor. There was also a mess from Soda making it in the first place. I was actually glad he left the mess. It gave me something to do. Being still for hours on end was starting to wear on me. Maybe that's why I woulda been perfectly happy to fight Dally.

It was shortly after lunch when the phone rang. I got the gang to quiet down before I answered.

"Mr. Curtis, this is Linda Blake from Social Services again,"

I fought a groan. "What can I do for you, Ms. Blake?"

"Firstly, have you seen or heard from your brother, Sodapop?" she asked.

I looked right at Soda. "No, ma'am, I haven't heard from Soda. You mean you haven't found out anything yet?" I had to fight my chuckle real hard. It was a little nice to make her squirm for a change.

"No, Mr. Curtis, we haven't found your brother yet. Rest assured, we are tracking down every lead."

I doubted that. "Is there anything else I can help you with," I asked.

"Actually, there is. We still need to discuss what happened with your other brother, Ponyboy. Can you meet me tomorrow at 1:00 in the afternoon?"

I gulped and sighed all at once. "Tomorrow isn't the best time," I said apologetically.

"And why not?" Ms. Blake bristled.

"Ma'am, we're burying Pony tomorrow. It's gonna be tough enough for me,"

"Where will he be buried?" she asked, not softening a bit.

I gave her the name of the cemetary. It was the same one where our parents were buried. I was fortunate enough to be able to get the plot next to our parents for Pony.

"Will Soda be in attendence?" Ms. Blake asked.

"I can't answer that, Ms. Blake. I don't know where he is to get the word to him," I explained calmly.

Ms. Blake harumphed. "Does Friday fit your busy schedule?" she asked.

I didn't like the snide tone she was using, but I figured I better not say anything. "Friday at 1:00 will be fine," I sighed.

"I will see you then." She didn't give me a chance to say anything else.

I replaced the phone in the cradle. I sighed deeply. I could tell already that this little chat wasn't going to be fun.

"When were you gonna tell me?" Soda snapped at me.

"You can't go," I said.

Soda flipped out. "What do you mean I can't go? Of course I'm going! He was my brother too!"

"Soda, calm down," I said. "Now that Ms. Social Services knows, they'll be lookin' for you there."

"I don't care!" Soda raged.

"Do you really want to go to the boys' home?" I snapped."If you go tomorrow, that's what'll happen."

It was Soda's turn to sigh. He sat down on the sofa heavily."But Darry..."He pleaded.

"You can go after this is all settled," I told him.

Soda shook his head. "I should be there tomorrow!"

"What do ya want me to do about it?" I asked, throwing my hands in the air. "Believe me, little buddy, if there was any way..."

Soda just sat on the sofa, looking defeated.

"I promise we'll go together just as soon as this is all cleared up," I said.

He looked me in the eyes. "You promise?" His voice was a little shaky.

"I promise Pepsi-Cola"."

He smiled a bit at Dad's nickname. I ruffled his hair and smiled back.

Dally kept his word and came back later that evening. I was just washing up from dinner. I wasn't real surprised that there were leftovers for a change.

"Want something to eat?" I asked.

"Who's cookin'" Dally asked back. I could hear the smirk in his voice.

He came in the kitchen then. "That kid, Randy whatever, had a lot of buddies," he said quietly.

I just nodded and handed him a plate of food.

"You musta done the cookin'" he said. "Nothin's a weird color."

"Yeah, I did the cookin' tonight," I confirmed.

"The Socs want a rumble," he said between forkfuls. "Like I said, that kid had a lot of buddies who are mighty mad that a greaser got one of theirs. They wanna settle it."

The kitchen was full now. All of the guys came when they heard rumble.

"When?" Soda asked.

"Where?" Steve asked.

"Rules?" Two-Bit asked.

Johnny was quiet as usual.

Dally held up the hand that wasn't holding the plate. "One at a time boys," he said. "They want it Friday, our lot, their rules."

"Which are?" I asked. Concern was growing in the pit of my stomach. I don't know how a rumble would settle anything. Wasn't two dead enough?

"Skin only," Dally said. "I don't know how much they're gonna keep to that, though. They want blood." He said it all so calmly, like this was just an every day thing.

"So do we!" Soda exclaimed.

Two-Bit and Steve were right there with Soda. They wanted to settle things too.

"Easy, guys," I said.

They didn't listen to me. I shoulda known they wouldn't. The scent of blood had them all riled up. This was exactly what I had dreaded.

"Did they catch the guys who killed Randy?" Johnny asked in his quiet voice.

Dally shrugged. "They picked up a couple of Shepard's guys for it."

"Did they do it?" I asked, drilling Dally hard with my eyes. I needed to know for sure it wasn't one of ours that had killed Randy.

Dally shrugged again. "Probably."

I knew that was as good an answer asI would get.

The rest of the guys were horsin' around in the living room. I think they were already pumping themselves up for this rumble. I kinda knew how they felt. It would feel good to punch a Soc, any Soc. It was all of the Socs faults that Pony was dead, not just the ones who drowned him. I needed the release of tension as much as anyone.

A crash sounded in the living room. I groaned. "Johnny, can you see what those knuckleheads are tearin' apart out there?

Johnny went to the living room, leaving me and Dally in the kitchen. There was still a lot of comotion in the living room. I hoped that meant they couldn't hear what was goin' on in the kitchen.

I went over and leaned on the counter beside Dally. "I need you to do me a favor," I said.

"Shoot," Dally said.

"I need you to get the kid outta here for a while."

Dally just smirked. "You ain't plannin' something without me."

"It ain't like that," I said. "He hasn't left this house since you brought him over from Buck's. I think it would be good for him to get out. If nothin' else, get some clean clothes."

A muffled thud came from the living room. I heard Two-Bit yelp and Johnny tell them to cut it out.

"I can do that," Dally said, putting his plate in the sink.

"Thanks," I said.

Dally didn't say anything. He strode in the living room. "Let's go, kid," he said to Johnny.

I knew Johnny would go without question. If Dally had told him to jump off a bridge, Johnny would with no question. Johnny would never question Dally. That's why I knew only Dally could get Johnny out of the house. 


	9. Chapter 9Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I don't own any rights to The Outsiders. They all belong to the witty S.E. Hinton.

Chapter 9

I walked down the short hall, buttoning the cuff of my shirt as I went. "Do I look alright?" I asked the guys in the living room.

Two-Bit, predictably, let out a wolf whistle. "Whacha doin' later, big boy?" he asked in a high pitched voice, batting his eyelashes.

I shot him a look and he backed down.

"You can't wear that," Soda said, jumping to his feet.

"Why not?" I asked.

"It was Dad's," he cried.

I knew it was Dad's. It was Dad's best suit, well, second best. It was charcoal gray. I had on a white dress shirt and a gray tie with it. I just wanted to look nice at the cemetary.

"I know it was Dad's," I said. "Why can't I wear it?" I looked down at myself. Sure, the suit was a little small on me, but it would do.

"You're not Dad," Soda said.

"I know that, little buddy. It's the best suit in the house."

"Please, Darry," He said. His eyes had filled with tears.

I went to him and grabbed him in a bear hug. I finally understood. The suit made him think of Dad. All of the pain of losing them had come back. And I was reminding him that we had lost another one. It was too much for Soda just then.

"I should be there," Soda cried in my chest.

"I know you want to be there," I said soothingly. "I'm sure Pony knows too. You understand why you can't be?"

He just nodded.

"I know it's rotten. Believe me Soda, if I could think of a way for you to be there, you would be."

Soda let out a deep breath and lifted his head off my chest. "I know," he said shakily.

"Good," I said. "Now will you quit leakin' on the suit?"

He gave me a playful shove. "Yeah, yeah, rub it in."

The door banged open and Johnny and Dally came in. Johnny had gotten cleaned up. He had on fresh clothes and I was pretty sure Dally had made him take a shower. Not that Johnny was a dirty kid. He had just been greiving.

Dally made a motion with his head for me to follow him to the kitchen. I followed him.

"What's up?" I asked.

"Man, you should see the old broad he lives with," Dally said, lighting a cigarette.

"You took him home?" I asked. I was kinda startled that Dally would do that. We all knew that Johnny's home life wasn't the best.

"Where else could he get clean clothes?" Dally answered.

I just kept staring at him.

"She tried to start up with Johnny the second he got in the house," Dally continued. "Luckily, his old man was out. I mighta just let him have it for beatin' on Johnny."

I shook my head. "What did you do about his Mom?"

"I told her in no uncertain terms to back off Johnny and not say another word to him," Dally smirked. "You shoulda seen her try to start on me. But at least she layed off Johnny."

I still couldn't believe Dallas Winston had confronted Johnny's mom. "You didn't do anything really stupid?" I asked, cocking one eyebrow. I knew he would know what I meant.

Dally smirked again. "Nah, she isn't worth the time in the cooler," he said coolly. "We stayed long enough to get him some clean clothes, then we went to Buck's."

I shook my head. "You really know how to take care of the kid," I said sarcastically.

Dally glared at me. "I never said I could take care of him. He didn't get in trouble, so what's the big deal?"

I sighed. Dally would never understand responsibility. "You comin' with us?"

"No," Dally said. "Got some business to take care of." His eyes went hard again.

I was really starting to hate that look. Dally looked tough as nails and was, but this hard look worried me. I didn't want him getting in any sort of trouble. We would need him for the rumble. "You know the rules. No jazz before the rumble," I said.

Dally glared at me again. "Yeah, I know the rules. I ain't gonna miss my chance to beat on them. I'm meeting with Shepard and see what else we can find out about what happened." He strode out of the house without another word.

I glanced at the clock. It was time for us to head to the cemetary. "Who all's comin'?" I asked.

Two-Bit and Johnny both stood up. Soda sat on the sofa with his head down and his hands between his knees. I glanced at Steve, who just shook his head slightly. He sat on the sofa next to Soda and flung his arm across his shoulders. I nodded approvingly. Steve was gonna stay here and take care of Soda.

The three of us piled in my truck. We were all quiet on the short trip to the cemetary. I knew I was lost in thoughts about Pony and I figured Johnny and Two-Bit were too. I was sure going to miss that kid. He may have given me a headache or two, but I was sure I had given our parents their fair share. It wasn't right that he had been taken from us at such a young age. It wasn't fair that our parents had been taken either. Life just wasn't fair for greasers, I guessed.

We trudged up the small hill in the cemetary to where my parents were buried. I knew the spot well. I had visited a lot over the last 8 months, wondering if I was doing right by them. There were so many times I needed their advice. Like when Soda dropped out or when Pony got jumped. I did my best to keep us together and my younger brothers safe. I wished I could just put Pony and Soda in a bubble so that no one could ever touch them, but I knew that's not what our parents would want. They would have wanted all of their boys to enjoy life. I did my best in that department too, but I never knew if I was doing the right thing.

There was a large hole next to my parents' graves. I looked down. The coffin looked so small in that hole. It would never seem right. I cleared my throat. "You guys wanna say anything?" I asked.

Johnny grabbed a fistful of the loose dirt that was sitting there and squatted down. "I'm sorry, Pony," he said softly. "I'm gonna miss you." He threw the dirt on the coffin.

When he stood up, I embraced him in a hug. "We're all gonna miss him," I said in Johnny's hair.

Two-Bit followed Johnny's example. "I think I was wrong, kid," he started. "I'm not sure we can get along without you either." His voice was shaking.

I hugged Two-Bit, too. I don't think I had ever hugged Two-Bit Mathews before, but right then, we were brothers. "We'll get through this," I said to him.

I swallowed the lump in my throat. It was my turn. I grabbed two fistfulls of dirt. "I love you, Ponyboy," I whispered. and threw one handful of dirt down. "And so does Soda," I said throwing the other. "We're sure gonna miss you." I was crying now, too.

When I stood up, Johnny and Two-Bit were on either side of me. We had our arms around each other. We stood there, three greasers hugging and crying. I think in that moment we weren't greasers, really. We were just three guys who had just lost a buddy.

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A/N:  
Thanks for the reviews. As always, they are much appreciated..


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I don't own any rights to The Outsiders. They all belong to the unbribable S.E. Hinton.

Warning: Lots of dialogue, a little swearing, and very little action, but I assure you, dear reader, it's necessary.

* * *

Chapter 10

I donned the gray suit again for my meeting with Ms. Blake. I gave the guys some money to go out for lunch. I didn't want Soda to see me in the suit again. I also wanted some time to collect my thoughts. The house seemed weird being empty, but that's just what I needed then.

It didn't take me long to get to the office. Ms. Blake was waiting in the lobby for me. She was at least a foot shorter than me. Her black hair was sprinkled with gray and neatly cut at her shoulders. She had on a black dress suit that made her look like my executioner. I swallowed the lump in my throat.

She led us down the hall to her office. It was not very big. There was a bookshelf along one wall and a metal filing cabinet along the other. Her diploma hung on the wall directly behind her so that when she sat down, you couldn't help but see the thing when you looked at her. She motioned for me to take the chair across the desk from her. Her gold-framed eyeglasses sat about half way down her nose. Her black eyes bore into me. I could tell she had already made up her mind about me, and it wasn't good.

"Mr. Curtis, thank you for coming in," she began. "As I said before, we need to discuss your brother's death and your involvement with it."

"I didn't kill my brother," I snapped. I hated that this woman who didn't really know us would think I had anything to do with Pony's death.

Her eyebrows rose at my outburst. "I see," she said and wrote something in her notes. " Mr. Curtis, may I call you Darrel?"

I nodded.

"Darrel," she continued, "no one has accused you of killing your youngest brother, Ponyboy." She had to riffle through the papers in our folder to find his name.

I said nothing. I figured it just went to show how much she had cared about us and our situation that she didn't even remember Pony's name.

"It is very serious when a child under our supervision is killed. As his guardian, you were responsible for his protection as we were responsible for making sure his environment was safe and in his best interest. We both failed Ponyboy."

My face grew red with shame and anger at this woman. I already knew I had failed him, why did she have to rub it in?

"At this point, all we can do is get as much information as possible to hopefully prevent this tragedy touching another family."

I nodded again.

"Now, Darrel, can you tell me why Ponyboy wasn't under your supervision at 2 o'clock in the morning?"

"He had gone to the movies with a friend..." I started.

"Which friend?" she interrupted.

"Johnny."

"Johnny Cade?"

"Yes, ma'am. He was Pony's closest friend."

"I see," she said again. "Please continue."

"They had gone to the Nightly Double. When he wasn't home at curfew..."

"And what time was his curfew?"

I was getting sick of her interrupting."Midnight, ma'am," I said, doing my best to control the anger I was feeling.

"Do you think midnight is an appropriate curfew for a 14-year-old?"

"The Nightly Double wouldn't be over until 11:30. I gave him a half an hour to get home. So, yes, I think that's reasonable."

"How were the boys supposed to get home?"

I swallowed hard. I already knew she wouldn't like my answer. "They were gonna walk home," I said in a small voice.

"Walk home? At 11:30 at night? Do you think that was a good idea?"

I could see she was getting upset now. I thought she must have thought I was the worst guardian on the planet. "Ma'am the Nightly Double isn't far from our neighborhood."

"How old is Mr. Cade?" she asked abruptly.

"I'm pretty sure he's 16. Why?"

"Let me see if I have this straight so far. You let your 14-year-old brother go to the movies with his 16-year-old friend. You then expected these two children to walk home at 11:30 at night. Is that correct so far?"

I just nodded. When she put it that way, it didn't sound so good. I'm sure she would have just loved it if I had told her that our 17-year-old juvenile delinquent friend was with them.

"Darrel, does this seem responsible to you?"

"I didn't expect any kinda trouble, if that's what you mean," I said.

She was writing in her notes again. "What did you do when Ponyboy missed curfew?"

I swallowed hard again. "I...I...Could I please have a drink?"

Her eyebrows lifted again, but she got up and left the room. I was sweating something fierce. This woman already hated me. And what did I do when my little brother missed curfew? Nothing, that's what I did. I sat in the armchair and fumed. I didn't go looking for him. Hell, I thought, I wouldn't have known where to start. But I knew in a second that wasn't the truth. I would have started at the lot. There wasn't anywhere else I could think of where Pony and Johnny could hang out. I knew they were smart enough to stay away from Buck's, or I thought I did. But that's where Johnny had gone. I took several deep breaths to collect myself before Ms. Blake returned with a cup of water. I drank it gratefully.

"Now, Darrel, what did you do when Ponyboy missed curfew?"

I sighed deeply. "I worried," I said.

"You didn't do anything else?" she asked in an accusatory tone

I shook my head. I don't think I could say it out loud. It would just prove how badly I had failed Pony.

Ms. Blake was scribbling furiously now. "Why didn't you call the police?"

"I didn't want to lose my brothers," I said honestly.

"That worked out well, now didn't it?" she snapped at me. "Did Ponyboy ever come home that night?"

"Yes," I said through gritted teeth. What right did this woman have to judge me? She had no idea the things I did to make sure that Pony was taken care of.

"What time did he come home?" Her voice was harsh now. The rest of this interview was going to be an interrogation.

"Around 2 in the morning,." I decided I wasn't going to give her more information than was necessary.

Her eyebrows shot up and she looked at me hard then. "What happened, Mr. Curtis. His time of death wasn't much after 2."

"We got in a fight..."

"Did you strike him?" The interrogation voice was back.

I looked right at her. "No," I said. I hated lying, but wasn't this for the best? Wasn't I trying to help Soda by lying? "Our fight was verbal."

She huffed. "Go on."

"We were both yellin' at each other. Soda..."

"Your missing brother, right?"

I had enough of her interrupting. "Yes," I said, this time not able to keep the anger out of my voice. "If you want to know what happened that night, would you please just let me tell you!"

She looked at me again. I think I had frightened her a bit with my outburst. "By all means," She said.

I sank back in the chair. I took a shaky breath before I continued. "Soda tried to get us both to calm down. He was always tryin' to keep us from fightin'." I could see she wanted to say something, but she didn't, so I continued. "I yelled at Soda when he was just tryin' to calm us down. Pony didn't like me yellin' at Soda, so he ran out. That's the last I saw him." I sank deeper in the chair. I was emotionally spent.

"Did you and Ponyboy fight often?" she asked, showing no sympathy.

"Yeah...no...I don't know!" I exclaimed. " I wanted him to enjoy bein' a kid, but I wanted a better life for him than we had. I pushed hard so he could have the chances me and Soda didn't get."

"Did you resent him for his chances for a better life?"

"Absolutely not!" I yelled. "I was so damn proud of him!"

"Mr. Curtis, please lower your voice," she said. "I think I'm getting a clear picture of the night Ponyboy died. Is there anything else you would like to say about this?"

"Ms. Blake," I started weakly "I love my brothers. Both of them. I do the best I can for them. I have to be both brother and father to them. it isn't always easy, but I wouldn't change it for anything."

"Mr. Curtis, why did you seek custody after your parents died?"

"It's what my parents would have wanted. The three of us stickin' together," I said with a shrug. I thought it was pretty obvious why I did what I did.

"Is it what you wanted?" she asked.

"Of course! I had just lost my parents, I wasn't about to lose my brothers too." The anger was trying to come back.

"I see," she said. "Now about Sodapop. Mr. Curtis, do you know where he is?"

"No." Again, I looked right at her and again I lied to her face.

"We find it odd that we can't track down any of the friends you mentioned to us. You wouldn't know where they are, would you?"

"Yeah, I know where they are. They're out lookin' for Soda."

"I see." I really wished she would stop saying that because she didn't understand at all.

"Well, Mr. Curtis, I think we're about done here then."

"So what now?" I wasn't sure I wanted the answer but I needed to know.

"For now, nothing. No decisions can be made before we talk to Sodapop. I would also like to talk to Johnny Cade, as he appears to be the last of Ponyboy's friends that saw him alive that night."

I just nodded at her.

"Remember, Mr. Curtis, we agreed to keep each other informed about Sodapop."

"I remember, ma'am."

"As I said, there's nothing we can do until we talk to Sodapop," she said as she walked to the door and opened it. "Have a good afternoon, Mr. Curtis."

I hurried out the door and out of the building. When I got to my truck, I took off the tie I was wearing. I was exhausted and just happy for the safety of the truck.

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A/N:  
Thanks for all of the reviews. I'm glad you, dear reader, are enjoying my tale. Please read and enjoy. As always, reviews are appreciated. I promise there will be a lot more action in the next chapter.


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I don't own any rights to The Outsiders. They all belong to S.E. Hinton.

Chapter 11

Steve, Two-Bit and Johnny were sitting in the living room when I got back to the house. I could tell something wasn't right. The boys were too quiet.

"Where's Soda?" I asked the room.

The boys looked at each other, trying to decide who would tell me. Steve somehow lost. He stood up from the sofa and motioned me to follow him out to the porch. After the door had closed, I asked where Soda was again.

Steve just let out a big sigh. "I don't know where to start."

"Start with where my brother is," I insisted. I wasn't worried yet. I didn't think Soda could be far. I knew he wanted to be in the rumble this evening as much as anyone.

"We ran in to Sandy at The Dingo," Steve said.

"So he's with Sandy?" I thought that might be a good idea. Get Soda out of the house and get his mind off Pony for a little bit.

"Not exactly," Steve said, shuffling his feet.

I cocked an eyebrow. I decided to wait Steve out.

"Shoot, Darry," he said, almost pleading. "Sandy's pregnant."

What!" I exploded. Glory, but this was the last thing we needed. We already had the state on our backs and I was sure they would love knowing my kid brother was going to have a kid. My head pounded.

Steve flinched and took a step away from me. I think he thought I was gonna hit him again. His face washed with relief when the door slammed behind us.

"She's...she's gone," Soda whispered. His eyes were red from crying. He looked like a kid right then.

I went over and hugged him hard. "I'm sorry, little buddy. What...ah...what about the baby?"

"It's not mine," Soda said bleakly.

I let out a deep sigh. No one should have to go through something like this, especially Soda. He was too good a person to have this happen to him.

"I...I really loved her. How...how could she do this to me?" he said between sobs.

I thought of all the things I could say. I could tell him it would be ok, but it wasn't ok now. I could tell him it was better to find out now rather than later, but now, he was crushed.

Steve walked over then. He squeezed Soda's shoulder lightly. He was trying to comfort him as best he could too.

I pulled Steve into our hug. He had always been like a brother to us, especially Soda. I thought Soda needed to know we were there for him.

After a few minutes, Soda's sobs trickled off, then stopped all together. He pulled away from us a little.

"You ok?" I asked.

"I'll be ok," he said.

"You better be," Steve piped up. "We have some Socs to stomp tonight!"

Dally showed up around 5 carrying 2 six-packs. I had made a huge dinner for us. We would need the energy. Dally passed the beer around at dinner. One for each of us. The second six-pack was for celebrating our victory after the rumble Dally had explained. I wasn't so hot on the idea of Johnny drinking, but this time I let it slide. I knew the rest of the guys drank, even though they weren't old enough. I didn't have the heart to tell Johnny he couldn't when the rest of us were.

We ate mostly in silence. It was odd for us. You couldn't have guessed we were getting jazzed for a rumble. The absence of one of ours fell hard on us that night.

Dally suddenly pushed away from the table. "Man, we gotta beat those Socs. We gotta show them they can't just do whatever they want," he said. His eyes told all of us he was in one of his dangerous moods. I could almost feel bad for any Soc that took him on tonight...almost.

"Of course we're gonna stomp them," Steve said with a mouthful.

"I'm gonna go get ready," Soda mumbled and left the table. Dinner was over.

Johnny helped me clean up while Steve, Two-Bit and Dally talked in the living room. Dally's mood was starting to rub off on Steve. They had started talking about what they were going to do to those Socs. Soda had joined them and wanted to be in on whatever the others were planning. Soon hooting and hollering filled the house. The boys were getting in fine form for a rumble.

"Johnny," I said quietly, so the others couldn't hear "give me your switchblade."

"Sure, Darry,"he said, digging in his back pocket for the blade. He handed it over without question.

I set it down on the counter and walked to the living room, Johnny beside me. I motioned for Two-Bit to follow me to the kitchen. When we were out of earshot, I made the same demand of him.

"Whatcha want my blade for?" he asked.

"So you're not tempted to use it tonight. Now hand it over."

Two- Bit gave me his prized black handled switchblade with a sigh. "there," he grumbled.

"now give me the other one too," I said. We all knew the one he handed me was his show piece. He had an old pocketknife for when he needed a blade.

"You're killin' me," Two-Bit groaned.

"I'm keepin' you out of the cooler, little man. Now hand it over."

Two-Bit grumbled a bit, but he handed me the pocketknife. None of our gang was going to go down for murder. Not tonight, at least. Not when I had a say in it.

We joined the rest of the gang in the living room. I glanced at the clock. It was 6:30 and the rumble was set for 7. "Time to go," I announced.

We headed toward the lot, still hootin' and hollerin' as we went. I looked over our gang. We looked tuff. I smiled a little. I was proud of all these boys. They were all my brothers in a way. We would always do our best to look after each other.

I thought of Pony and the fine job I had done looking out for him. Tonight, I was going to fight tooth and nail for him.. I was going to get revenge for him. I felt the anger swelling.

"Listen, Soda," I said as we neared the lot, "You beat it if the fuzz show. Dig?"

"Ain't nobody gonna call the fuzz in this neighborhood," Steve said soberly.

"I know, but if trouble shows, Soda, I want you out of there. The state's still lookin' for you and I'm sure they'd have a fit if you were found at this fight. If the fuzz show, you beat it. But don't go to our house."

"How come?" Soda asked.

"If the cops are around, they might look for you at our house. I don't care where you go, just not to our house, savvy?"

"No one's home at my house," Two-Bit added.

"So if the cops show, I'm supposed to go to Two-Bit's house?"

"Yeah. I'll come get you when things have cooled down." I was relieved that Soda would have a place to go. I knew he would be safe at the Mathews' house.

Soda just shrugged. I could only hope he would listen to me on this one. I hated to have to be the voice of reason sometimes, but someone had to do it.

Shepard's gang and a gang from Brumly were waiting for us at the lot. We all shook hands, showing we were all on the same side. Tim Shepard said something to Dally that made him snarl. I saw Steve and Two-Bit step up to make sure Tim and Dally didn't go after each other right there. Now, I thought, that's one fight I wouldn't even try to get in the middle of.

Tim came back to me and shook my hand again. "Awful what happened to Pony," he said.

"Yeah, thanks," I said.

"Curly was pretty torn up about it," Tim continued.

"We all were. Where is Curly tonight?"

Tim smirked. "Him and a few of my other not so bright guys are gonna be spending a lot of time in the cooler."

"They the ones that went after that Soc?"

"Sure were," Tim said, almost proud of his brother, "But they weren't smart enough to get away with it."

The leader of the Brumly boys came over then. "It's almost time four our guests to appear," he said smiling. "Who's gonna start the action?"

Tim and I looked at each other. We knew it was going to be one of us. "You start it," Tim said to me, "I think you deserve that much."

I smiled and cracked my knuckles. "It will be my pleasure."

As if on cue, the Socs started showing up then. I shook hands with the leaders of the other gangs one more time then went to stand with my gang. I watched as 4 cars parked along the edges of the lot. I counted 22 of them. There were 20 of us, so I figured that was about as fair as the Socs could ask for. The way I was fealing right then, I thought I could pretty much take them all myself. I knew the rest of the gang felt that way too. The Socs would realize quickly that they had messed with the wrong group of guys when they messed with Ponyboy.

"Hey, Sodajerk," I heard one of the Socs yell while they were still filing out of their cars, "You're girl was good." The soc and his buddies laughed.

I could feel the anger coming from Soda. I looked back and saw that the rest of our gang was surrounding him. I knew he wanted to go pound that Soc, but there were rules to be played by.

One of the Socs stepped forward a little. As if he had read my mind, he said "The rules are no weapons and the first to run loses, right?"

"Wow," I heard Tim say coldly, "monkeys CAN be taught."

The Soc started to say something, but a few other Socs pulled him back. The blood was running hot tonight. This was gonna be one tough fight.

I stepped forward into the light from the street light. "I'll take anyone," I said coolly.

For one minute, I thought the Socs were going chicken right then. No one wanted to take me on. I smirked. I wanted to taunt them. They could beat up on little Pony and Johnny, but no one wanted to take on someone their own size.

Finally, there was a stirring from the crowd of Socs. A husky blonde stepped up. "Hello, Darrel," the boy said quietly.

I looked at him hard. It took me a moment but I recognized him. "Hello, Paul," I greeted back. Paul and I had played football together in high school.

"I'll take you," Paul said eagerly. Paul sneered as he looked at the boys behind me.

I hated Paul right then. I could see he thought he was better than me because he was a Soc and I was a greaser. I didn't choose to be a greaser, just like Paul didn't choose to be a Soc. It was just how the chips fell. I wasn't going to be ashamed of any of the boys behind me. They had all come to stand for my brother.

Paul and I started circling around the light. I remembered he had a bad knee. Hurt it in one of our games. I wondered if it was still his weak point. The lot was eeriely silent as we circled.

"Who killed the kid?" one of my gang broke the silence. I knew it was Dally. He would get an answer, even if he had to beat it out of every Soc there.

The lot was silent again. Paul and I had stopped circling each other. I think we were both caught a bit off guard by Dally's outburst.

There was a slight stir and a dark haired boy stepped out of the crowd. "Sorry," he said, holding his hands up innocently, "I thought I was just taking out some trash."

The next sound I heard turned my blood to ice. The Soc, the one who killed Pony, the one who called Pony trash, was laughing.

Paul took my moment of shock to make his move. He punched me hard across my jaw.

The rumble was on.

A/N:  
Thanks for all of the reviews! The rest of the rumble will be in the next chapter. This chapter is running long already.

Read and enjoy! Oh, yeah, reviews are appreciated too!


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: I don't own any rights to The Outsiders. They all belong to S.E. Hinton.

Warning: Violence and some adult language in this chapter.

Chapter 12

The force of Paul's punch turned my head, but didn't hurt. It would hurt later. Now, I had too much rage in me to feel anything. I was able to catch a glimpse of my gang making their way to the Soc who called Pony trash. I also saw the Socs forming protective ranks around the killer Soc. I just smiled. They didn't stand a chance against us tonight.

I quickly turned back to Paul. The look in my eyes, or maybe the smile plastered on my face, must have scared him because he took a step back even before I advanced on him. I almost laughed when I thought he was going to run.

I was on him quick. I threw a punch to his jaw, matching his first move. Paul, however, went down. I kicked him in the ribs and somehow heard the crack over the noise of the rumble. I kicked him in the knee he hurt. The look of agony in his face just fueled me. I wasn't going to show any mercy tonight. I kicked him once more in the ribs and knew he wasn't getting back in this fight.

I made my way over to my gang. The boys were all holding their own, which didn't surprise me. Johnny was struggling the most so I went over to help him. "You ok, kid?" I hollered.

"Yeah," he grunted back.

It didn't take the two of us long to get the Soc down. I glanced over the gang again. They were all still ok. Dally's one shoulder looked a little off, but he was still right in the thick of things. Two-Bit's face was bleeding. I don't think he even noticed. Steve and Soda were both bruised up, but neither was the worse for wear.

We fought hard and strong. We fought together, almost as one. It seemed to take forever for us to break the Socs ranks. It was probably only a few minutes, though.

I was the first to come face to face with Pony's killer. I had murder in my heart. I wanted this boy to suffer. And I planned to make it happen.

The Soc started backing up as soon as he saw me. Some of the other Socs were heading for their cars. I wasn't going to let this boy go untouched. I grabbed him by his hair and pounded my fist in his face. I felt his nose break. I felt his blood running down my hand. It was exhilarating!

"You don't get him all," I heard Soda say behind me. He ran up on the Soc and kicked him hard in the stomach. For the second time that night, I heard ribs crack.

I heard the rest of the greasers start to cheer because the Socs were running. It seemed so far away. This boy, this Soc was my only focus. I still had a fistful of his hair. I wasn't letting go any time soon.

The rest of our gang was with us. I made sure each of them had a chance at the killer. Dally went last. He didn't want to stop wailing on the Soc.I finally let go of the kid and grabbed Dally.

"Stop!" I hollered. "We're better than him."

Dally snorted and spat on the Soc.

"Let's go home," I said to the gang, exhausted. We turned to head back to our house. I saw a couple Socs wearily come back to collect the killer. It took three of them to carry him to the safety of their cars.

"Damn," Steve shouted, "that felt good."

A ripple of laughter went through our group.

It didn't take long for us to get back to our house. Now it was time for us to nurse our wounds,the physical ones, at least.

Soda made his way to the kitchen and started making ice packs for the bruises. I went and got the first aid kit and started assessing the gang's wounds. Steve was stretched out on the couch with his shirt unbuttoned. There was a bruise forming about half way down his side. I would have to see if anything was broken. Two-Bit was bleeding from a cut on his face and one on his knuckles. Those'll need stitches, I thought. Dally's shoulder still looked wrong. I was pretty sure it was dislocated. Johnny didn't look too bad. He was gonna have one hell of a shiner but all in all he didn't look too banged up.

I gave Soda a good once over when he came in with the ice. He had a wide cut on his lip and a bruise on his cheek. He wasn't bad off either.

"I think Steve has broken ribs," Soda said.

I just nodded and handed him the supplies he would need to patch Steve up. I started on Two-Bit. Our mom had been a nurse. She had shown us how to stitch someone up. She had to do it enough times on the three of us. We hardly ever went to the hospital when Mom was around.

I took out the thread Mom had always used. I got a clean needle, just like Mom taught us. Glory, I missed them right then. Two-Bit flinched as I cleaned up his knuckles. "Can't I get wasted first?" he asked.

"Nope," I said.I took my time so everything would line up right. I put 7 stitches in his hand. I started cleaning up the cut on his face.

"You ain't comin' near my face," Two-Bit said stubbornly.

"Leave it," Dally snorted, "it looks better anyway."

"See!" Two-Bit said triumphantly.

"Sit down, shut your trap and hold still," I said in my most "don't give me a hard time" voice.

Two-Bit groaned, but for him, his face only needed 4 stitches.

I turned to Dally. "Your turn," I said. Two-Bit laughed.

Dally growled, "I'm fine."

I put my hand on his shoulder and he hissed with the pain. "You're fine?" I asked, cocking one eyebrow.

"It's nothing," Dally hissed.

I just looked at Soda and nodded. We knew how to fix Dally's shoulder, even if he didn't want us to. I grabbed Dally's wrist and Soda grabbed him around the middle.

"Get..." Dally started. He didn't have time to finish. Soda went one way and I went the other. I felt Dally's shoulder pop back into place. He let out a howl like I had never heard from him before.

Two-Bit was doubled over laughing. "You scream like a girl," he told Dally. We all had to laugh at that. Steve's laugh was cut off by a groan. It would hurt his ribs to laugh for a while.

"You wanna make somethin' of it," Dally challanged Two-Bit.

Two-Bit tried to stop laughing, I'll give him that. "Nope," he said, fighting hard to maintain his composure. I had to fight hard to hide my smile if you want the truth.

Dally stalked off to the kitchen. He grabbed the six-pack he had brought earlier. "Who else needs a drink?" he asked.

* * *

A/N:

Hope you enjoyed! Reviews are always appreciated.


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: I don't own any rights to The Outsiders. They all belong to S.E. Hinton.

A/N: I hate when life interferes with my plans!

Chapter 13 I wasn't surprised the next morning to find our gang was still at the house. Steve was still stretched out on the couch. Two-Bit had fallen asleep in the armchair. Even Dally was there. He must of lost some bet because he was asleep on the floor. Three unopened cans of beer still sat on the coffee table. I shook my head. Some party animals we are, I thought.

I wondered idly where Johnny was. I heard the toilet flush and the bathroom door open. I was glad to see Johnny standing there.

He smiled sheepishly at me. "Morning," he muttered.

I nodded my greeting. "How are you feeling this morning?" I asked him.

"Not bad," he said stretching. He smiled. "Pretty good actually."

I nodded again and continued into the kitchen. Johnny followed me and sat at the table. "you hungry?" I asked.

"I'll wait," he said. I always made a big breakfast after a rumble. I wouldn't start cooking until everyone was awake. All of our gang knew it.

I started making coffee. I was usually the only one who drank it. I tried to keep the noise down, but the harder I tried, the louder things got. When I closed the cupboard where we kept the coffee grounds, it hit with a bang. I dropped the percolator in the sink when I was filling it. Metal clanging against metal in a near silent house is just about the loudest thing I ever heard.

I looked up when I heard Steve groan. He was trying to sit up, but his ribs must have been aching. He cursed loudly as he laid back on the couch.

"Morning"I said.

Why did ya have to go makin so much racket?

It just happened, I said.

I went to help Steve up, but he just pushed me away. By the time Steve got up, Two-Bit was awake. It didn t surprise me that Dally had slept through everything. I figured he must have been a heavy sleeper to get any sleep at Buck s.

Coffee s just about done, I said as Two-Bit reached for a beer.

I don t know how you can drink that stuff Two-Bit said.

And I don t know how you can start the day with beer.

Two-Bit just shrugged. Got any chocolate cake?

I rolled my eyes, Chocolate cake and beer for breakfast. What kind of monster had I allowed to be born in my house. "I'll start on breakfast in a little bit."

Soda came into the living room. "Where's Pon... Oh." He sat down heavily in the armchair that Two-Bit had just vacated.

Everyone got real quiet. I looked at him nervously. Maybe he had taken a hit to the head that I didn't know about. "You ok?"

"Yeah," he said sullenly. "Guess I just forgot for a minute."

I knew how he felt. There had been several times I'd wonder where Pony was myself. It always hurt when I remembered. I didn't think there was anything I could do to comfort Soda. He'd have to grieve in his own way.

With most of the gang up, I headed off to start breakfast. I needed to focus on something other than the hurt. I pulled a dozen eggs out of the ice box. I would be scrambling all of them. Cracking the eggs made a sound that satisfied me that morning. I imagined it was everything bad that had happened to us breaking. Mom and dad died. Crack. Pony died. Crack. That Soc who killed him. Crack. It helped, if only for a few minutes.

Dally was awake by the time breakfast was on the table. He ate leaning against the counter while the rest of us sat at the table. He kept a weary distance from me and Soda.

"How's your shoulder?" I asked Dally.

He shrugged. "Good enough."

After breakfast, Soda and Johnny helped me clean up. Steve had to go to work. Two-Bit thought that maybe he had better show at home so his Mom would know he was still alive. In other words, he didn't want to have to help clean up. And Dally went wherever it was that Dally went.

I was glad for the time with Soda and Johnny. After we were done cleaning, we all sat down in the living room. I cleared my throat, a habit that was starting to annoy me. "We need to talk," I said conversationally.

"About?" Soda asked.

I scratched the back of my head. I wasn't sure this was the right time to bring this up, especially with what Soda had said earlier. I just didn't know if I'd get another chance. "Social services," I mumbled.

Soda jumped to his feet. "I don't want to hear it! I ain't going anywhere, you dig?"

"Soda, listen..."

"No, you listen! I'm almost 17. I'm tired of everyone making decisions for me!" He headed for the door.

I was able to catch up with him before he left. I don't think he really wanted to leave. "Soda," I said leading him back to the sofa. "We'll figure this out."

"I ain't going! I ain't losing you too!" his eyes had a determined set to them. I was in for a longer fight than I expected.

"I don't want you to go yet," I said. "Showin' up lookin' like you'd been in a fight wouldn't help us at all."

"I'm not going, ever. He said it as a final statement, like that was the end of the conversation. I only wished it could be.

"When your bruises aren't so bad, I need you to go with Ms. Blake. You, too, Johnny."

Johnny had been silently watching us. He gulped and seemed to shrink into the sofa. "Why?" he asked.

"Darry, I'm not going!"

"Johnny, Ms. Blake needs to talk to you about the night Pony died. She's looking into my involvement and you were the last to see him alive." I was going to ignore Soda's protests...for now.

"She thinks you killed Pony?" Johnny asked, shocked.

"I'm not exactly sure what she thinks," I said honestly. "She's one tough old broad. She says that the court decided to take custody of Soda until they could figure out how involved I was with the whole mess."

"Shoot, Darry, I know you didn't kill Pony. I'll talk to her," Johnny said with finality.

"Thanks, kid," I said. "Soda, you know she needs to talk to you too."

"She can't take me to a boys home."

"She can and she will if we don't cooperate! If you go in after Johnny, maybe that will clear this all up and you can come home," I said.

"I'm already home," Soda said.

"And we're always lookin' over our shoulders to see if social services has figured that out yet. We do this right and we won't have to do that anymore. I know they aren't looking too hard..."

"If they're lookin' at all!" Soda burst in.

"Do you want to take that chance? If they find you here it will be the boys home for sure. And what about the DX? What are you going to do about that?"

Soda shrugged. "I'll go like always."

"They know you work there. You've told me that cops stop by to gas up. What do you think they'll do if they find you there?"

"So I won't go to work. It's only a little over a year until i'm 18 and social services has no say anyway."

"You just gonna bum around the house for a year?" I knew Soda couldn't stand the idea of being still that long.

"It's better than a boys home for a year," Soda shot back.

"You won't be at the boys home for a year," I stated. "If things go like I think they will, you won't go to the boys home at all. And we'll be able to quit looking out for social services!"

"Fine," Soda said wearily, "but if I end up in the boys home..." He glared fiercely at me.

I nodded my understanding. If things went the way I planned, we would be just fine. But that was a big if.

A/n:  
Reviews are much appreciated! 


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: I don't own any rights to The Outsiders. They all belong to S.E. Hinton.

Chapter 14

I thought the next week was the longest of my life. If only I had known! Life seems funny that way. Sometimes, it goes so fast and you have to wonder where all that time went. Other times, you feel each agonizing minute.

It took about one week for the boys bruises to fade enough to be presentable. Someone would have to look hard to see the bruises from the rumble. It was time to end this nightmare. I would find out shortly that it was only the beginning of the nightmare.

I asked Two-Bit to take Johnny and Soda to the social services office. I had it all planned out. Johnny would go in first. Two-Bit and Soda would wait for him at a diner just down the street. When Johnny was done, he'd go to the diner and Soda would walk to the social services office. I really wanted to be the one there, instead of Two-Bit, but I thought I should be home when Ms. Blake called to tell me they had "found" Soda. Two-Bit and I had already talked about it. I knew he wouldn't let Soda try and skip out of this. Two-Bit still felt responsible for what had happened to Pony and he was miserable. He swore to me that he would make sure Soda went, even if it killed him. Wrong choice of words, but I knew what he meant.

That morning started like so many other mornings. I was the first up. Soda got up shortly after I did and jumped in the shower. Steve and Two-Bit came over. Johnny was there, too, like he had been almost every morning since Pony died. I drank coffee and read the paper while the boys had chocolate cake for breakfast.

Then I started noticing the little differences. It was quiet, for starters. There was no good natured ribbing this morning. What was about to happen hung heavy in the air. And then there was Johnny. He was dressed up for his interview with Ms. Blake. I guessed they were some of Pony's clothes that happened to fit him. I wondered why Soda wasn't going off on Johnny the way he did when I wore Dad's Suit. I guessed that not even this could make anyone, least of all Soda, yell at Johnny. I wished we could just stay there forever.

All too soon, it was Time for Steve to head to school. He stood up and stretched before looking around the room. "I don't see why y'all are playing by rules that are stacked against us," he erupted.

I looked at him, shocked. "We have to," I said simply.

"You know they don't give a hang about us," Steve protested. "Look at the bang up job they did lookin' for Soda here."

I wanted to agree with him. Tell Two-Bit, Johnny and Soda to just forget it. Keep Soda here where I knew he was safe. I know Soda would agree in a heartbeat if I did. "And what would you have Soda do for the next year?" I asked Steve seriously. If he had a good enough answer, he might just change my mind. Not that I needed a whole lot of convincing.

"Shoot, just do like always. No one cares about it," Steve said.

He had been right about that...so far. I just didn't know if it would be worth the risk. What if they did come looking? What would happen to Soda then? I felt like I was holding Soda's future in my hands and didn't know what to do. I shook my head finally. "We gotta play by the rules."

Steve started to protest, but Soda stopped him. "It's ok, Steve. We'll get this all figured out."

Steve just looked at Soda for a minute. Then Steve Randle did something I never thought he would do. Right there in the living room, in front of Two-Bit, Johnny and me, Steve grabbed Soda into a big hug. It dawned on me then that Steve and Soda had never spent more than a weekend apart. They had been best friends since grade school. Sometimes, when we would have a guys only weekend with Dad, Steve would be invited to go with us. Steve was more a part of the family than I realized. I spent a lot of time over the last two weeks realizing how much all of our gang was more family than I realized. Soda being gone was going to hurt all of us. I thought it would hurt Steve even more than it would hurt me.

Soda had to pull out of Steve's embrace eventually. "Sorry," Soda said. "I was starting to pass out from lack of oxygen!"

None of us could help but to chuckle at that. I worried about who would keep us laughing at ourselves while Soda was gone. I was pretty sure we'd crack withought it.

After running the back of his hand across his eyes, Steve said "You get home as soon as you can. If you need anything..."

Soda nodded solemnly. "I'll be back before you can miss me."

We all wanted to believe Soda, but I don't think any of us did.

Steve finally left for school. There was only about 15 minutes before the rest of the boys would have to head out too. I didn't want to think about it, but if I didn't those few minutes would be gone before I knew it.

"Soda..." I started.

"I know, I know," Soda piped in. "Take care of yourself too Darry."

I had to smile at that. I guessed I had gotten predictable. "I'll have you home just as soon as I can."

"I know," Soda said and shrugged. "It won't take long."

I wished I could agree with him. Had he forgotten how long it took for the custody to be finalized in the first place? Three long months, that's how long. I would never forget those months. We were always looking over our shoulders. Every sniffle and cough was almost enough to send me to a full blown panic. But we had managed. Would I be able to manage this time alone?

Too soon, it was time for the boys to leave. I really looked at Soda then. He was wearing an old pair of jeans and an old sweatshirt. He didn't care if he looked nice or not. He would look like Soda. I hugged him firmly before he left. He didn't know how much of me he was taking with him.

I stood on the porch and watched as Two-Bit drove off with my brother. It took every ounce of restraint in me to not holler for him to come back. When I couldn't see Two-Bit's car anymore, I sat down on the porch steps. They needed to be replaced, I thought. One day I would. One day when money wasn't so tight.

Money, I thought and felt a shudder. I was going to have to pay all the bills out of my check alone now. I wasn't sure I could do it. The weather would be turning too cold to roof soon. I'd have to pick up extra hours somewhere. My other job wouldn't be enough alone. If I lost the house, I'd never get custody of Soda back. I groaned. Everything seemed like it was just falling apart around me.

I stood up with a sigh. Thinkin' like this wasn't going to help anything. I'd have to sit down and figure it out. But not today. I was already too mentally tired to try and figure out a budget.

I went back inside and looked at the clock. I had been sitting out there for almost 20 minutes. I wondered where things were with the boys. Had Johnny been in to see Ms. Blake yet? Was he already heading for the diner? I knew it wouldn't take long to get all of the information Johnny had out of him. He wasn't likely to just start talking to Ms. Blake, but he'd want to get out of there fast.

I decided to try to keep from watching the clock. It wouldn't help. I started washing the dishes. Another 20 minutes passed by the time I was done. I tried to think of something else to do. The bathroom! I hadn't given the bathroom a proper cleaning in longer than I care to admit. I collected the cleaning supplies and headed into the bathroom. Three guys sharing one bathroom can be quite messy! I scrubbed the shower first. Then the toilet and sink. I left the floor for last. It wasn't very pretty.

It took another 40 minutes for me to clean the bathroom. I sat down in the armchair. I figured I had earned a few minutes break.I picked up the newspaper again and tried to read. It was the same as always. People dying everywhere. A drunk driver here, a war half way around the world.

The banging of the door startled me out of my thoughts. Two-Bit and Johnny were back.

Jumping to my feet, I asked "How'd it go?"

Johnny shrugged. "I didn't tell her anything she didn't already know."

I was relieved. I didn't think I would have to ask Johnny not to say anything about me slapping Pony that night. I knew Johnny would keep his trap shut.

"Has she called yet?" Two-Bit asked.

I shook my head.

"I watched Soda go in the building."

"Maybe she's still talking to him," I said.

No one said anything. We all just settled in to wait. I had worked it out with my boss that I would work Saturday to have today off. I needed to be here when Ms. Blake called so we could work out how long it would be until Soda could come home. But she didn't call. Not all day Monday.

I had to go to work on Tuesday. Two-Bit offered to babysit the phone for me. I hated encouraging him to skip school, but I wanted to know when she called. I gave him the number to the office and told him to call if Ms. Blake did. I went to sleep Tuesday night with still no word about Soda.

When I still hadn't heard anything on Friday, I started to worry. I was stuck though. If I called and asked about Soda, I was afraid she would know I knew where he was all along. I tried to figure out what the next step was. I was so focused on Soda that I smashed my thumb with the hammer several times. That was going to smart for a while!

I finally heard some news on Sunday...and that was when the real torment began.

A/N:  
Reviews are always appreciated. I'm not really sorry for the cliffy LOL. I'll update soon.


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: I don't own any rights to The Outsiders. They all belong to S.E. Hinton.

Chapter 15

When the phone rang on Sunday, I practically pounced on it. I don't think there was one full ring before I was saying hello.

"Darry?"

"Soda! Where the hell are you?" I was relieved to hear from Soda. I was also a little scared, wondering if he had ran off after all and that was why I was just now hearing from him. I took a deep breath and tried to steel myself for whatever he said next.

"I'm at the boys home" he shouted. "I can't talk long, they only give me one 10 minute phone call a week. It's like being in the cooler but I haven't done anything wrong."

"calm down..."

"Calm down? How am I supposed to calm down? You said this wouldn't happen!"

"I know I did. I guess I got some things wrong. What did Ms. Blake say?"

I heard Soda heave a sigh. "Not much, really. Just that I was here until this is all figured out and that it might take awhile."

I sighed too. Ms. Blake and I were going to have a serious conversation soon. She had lied to me. She told me that I would be informed when Soda was found. I had to wonder what else she lied to me about. I must have gotten lost in my thoughts because Soda was calling my name. "Yeah, I'm still here."

"they're making me go back to school. Ms. Blake said you had no right takin' me out of school to help with the bills."

"What?" I exclaimed.

"I tried to tell her that you didn't make me drop out, but she wouldn't hear it. She's got it out for you."

"Yeah, I know. I got that feeling when I talked to her after Pony..."

"Don't say it. I can't think about that right now. There's one more thing you need to know." Soda sounded serious now.

I had to groan. "What else?"

"You won't believe where this boys home is."

"Where?" I asked hesitantly.

"On the west side."

"Are you serious?" I couldn't believe it.

"Yeah. Socy types are in here all the time. 'Doing good works for these por boys' they say. I've run into a few I knew from the DX already."

"How come it isn't around school then?" I knew how rumors ran rampant. If it had gotten around at the school, Steve or Two-Bit would have heard about it. They would have told me. They both knew how crazy I was going not knowing where Soda was.

"The kids my age didn't show up until yesterday. I guess they are too busy jumpin' us during the week to help their mother's charity cases."

"You are not a charity case. So does this mean you will be at the high school tomorrow?"

"Yeah," Soda said miserably. "I'd rather be at the DX. I gotta go. I'm told my time's up. "

"I'll see you soon," I promised him before he hung up.

I put the phone down gently. I was afraid I would break it otherwise. I was mad! I had to get Soda out of there and soon. With it being Sunday, I knew I'd have to wait until tomorrow, at the earliest, to talk to Ms. Blake. What an earful I had for her. I knew we weren't the richest family in town, but that doesn't give her the right to treat us as trash.

I needed to get away from the house for a bit and clear my thoughts. I headed for the lot. We kept an old football there and kicking it would be much better than kicking anything else. I walked slow and deliberate. I needed to be back in control of something. It still didn't take long to get to the lot. Now, I thought, I can lose control. I couldn't do much damage to anything, or myself, out here.

I found the football we kept out there. I kicked it as hard as I could. I watched as it sailed across the lot. It hit and bounced a few times. I sighed and started walking to where it was. It felt good to kick the ball.

I saw Johnny come into the lot and go for the ball. I watched him lope across the open space. He was limping. I thought about how bad I wanted to give his Dad a taste of his own medicine. I knew I would never get the chance though. I had to be the responsible one. I noticed something else too, and it surprised me.

Johnny threw the ball back to me. Well, at least towards me. It landed about 10 feet in front of me. I picked it up and threw it back to Johnny.

"Why are you wearing Dally's jacket?" I asked. He had on Dally's leather jacket. It was too big for Johnny and looked like the jacket had swallowed him.

Johnny shrugged. "He said my jean jacket wouldn't keep me warm much longer out here."

I smiled to myself. Dallas Winston had a heart after all. "You don't have to stay out here," I said. "You know our house is always open."

"You got enough to worry about."

I shook my head. This kid who would rather sleep outside than go home was worried about me. "I'd kinda like the company," I said honestly. "Gives me the creeps when the house is too quiet."

Johnny studdied my face for a moment. I don't know what he saw there, but he eventually just nodded his head.

We spent a few minutes just throwing the ball back and forth, not saying anything.

"Look at these two greasers tryin' to play football!"

I turned to see who was there. If they were looking for a fight, I would be happy to oblige today. Johnny was at my side as quick as he could be. I think he was a bit scared and didn't blame him at all. But he would never say anything.

Two-Bit and Steve were standing there, Two-Bit wearing a grin a mile wide. I glanced over at Johnny and cocked an eyebrow. He answered me with a quick grin.

"You ladies want to show us greasers how it's done?" I asked.

Two-Bit let out a hoot. He set down his beer and took off his jacket. Steve leered at Johnny and me for a minute before taking off his DX work shirt. They walked over to where we were standing.

"Me and Johnny aginst you two losers," I said confidently.

"You're on!" Steve answered.

We lined up across from each other. I had the ball so we went first. With only two on a side, we had to run a lot. Two-Bit and Steve tried to double team me, but that left no one guarding Johnny. I lobbed the ball to him and we scored first. I think I saw Johnny smirk as he flipped the ball at Steve.

I lined up across from Steve. Two-Bit was half crocked already so I didn't think he'd be much of a problem for Johnny. Steve let out a growl the first time I tackled him. He was yellin' at Two-Bit to get open. I just had to laugh.

We had a little more trouble the next time we had the ball. Two-Bit had Johnny wrapped up. Steve was holding on to my arm, making it hard to run. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Dally streak into the lot. He put his cigarette back in his mouth and held up a hand. I was able to throw the ball to him.

"Hey," Two-Bit called.

"Get him," Steve hollered.

And they were off. Dally running with Two-Bit, Steve and Johnny trying to catch up. It wasn't long before the game devolved to tackling whoever had the ball and taking it. The five of us were running around the lot like a bunch of crazy kids. That's what we were, after all. Just kids. I thought the only thing that would make this evening perfect would be my brothers being there. But for just that night, I could be happy. I would deal with the rest tomorrow.

-  
A/N:  
Reviews are always appreciated.  
Thanks to those that have already taken the time to review.


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: I don't own any rights to The Outsiders. They all belong to S.E. Hinton.

Chapter 16

The sound of thunder accompanied my alarm Monday morning. I wasn't usually glad for a day off work, but today was an exception. I was going to get as much of this straightened out today as I could. After making some coffee, I called my boss, just to make sure we were off for the day. I would go to the warehouse, my other job, later this afternoon. The extra hours I picked up there would help.

Johnny was asleep on the couch. I made a note to myself to get Soda's old room set up so Johnny would have his own space. Not the room that Soda and Pony shared. I still couldn't go in there.

I woke Johnny up in time to for school. Two-Bit and Steve were already there. They would all have to leave in about half an hour, but I needed to talk to them first. "I need your help," I said to the three of them. Two-Bit cocked an eyebrow and Steve got a strange look on his face, like I had grown another head. I didn't ask for help very often.

"What's up?" Johnny asked.

"Soda's gonna be at school today," I stated. I waited for the news to sink in.

Steve grinned broadly. "You know we got his back. You don't have to ask."

"I just wanted to let you guys know he would be there and to keep your eyes open for him."

Two-Bit started laughing. "They're makin' him go back to school?" he hooted. "

"Yeah, rules or something," I shrugged. "He said that Ms. Blake made it sound like I made him quit school to help with the bills around here."

The room sobered up real quick. "That's a bunch of ..." Steve started.

I held up my hands defenselessly. "I know," I said, frustrated with the whole situation. "We'll get it all straightened out."

"When?" Steve snapped.

"If you have a problem with the way I'm handling things..." I started.

"It just ain't fair, that's all I'm sayin'" Steve said. "Com'on, "he said, "we're gonna be late."

They all left without saying another word.

I headed back to Soda's old room. Social services wouldn't be open until 9. I figured I'd better keep myself busy until then. I looked around the room. There was dust everywhere. No one had really been in here for almost 8 months. I started with the bed. I stripped off the old sheets and put them in to wash. I put clean sheets on the bed and a blanket. Then I just stopped. What if Soda didn't want to stay in the room he shared with Pony anymore? I knew he had wanted to stay there right after Pony died, but would being away change that?I put my head in my hands and tried to think.

I'm not sure how long I sat there. I still wasn't sure what to do.I got up and headed for the kitchen. I needed another cup of I looked at the clock, I was surprised to find it was 9:15. I forgot the coffee and headed for the phone.

It only took a few minutes to get ahold of Ms. Blake. "What's going on with Soda?" I asked, barely anger boiling just below the surface.

"Mr. Curtis, he is being cared for in one of our group facilities."

"Why didn't you call me when you found him?" I demanded.

"I did call last Monday at 5:00 pm. There was no answer at your house."

The anger boiled over now. She had just told a bold faced lie. "Ms. Blake, I was home at 5:00 pm last Monday. I was home all day as a matter of fact. You did not call the house."

"Mr. Curtis, if you called simply to argue, I have nothing further to say."

I took a quick breath. "Wait, wait," I said, softening my tone. "What happens now?"

"We were concerned about some of the things Sodapop told us. There will be a hearing in front of a judge to decide if you are still fit to be Sodapop's guardian."

"When's the hearing?"

"You should be recieving a letter from our department any day now. But I can tell you it's sometime in January."

"January?" I practically exploded. "Can't we get this cleared up any sooner?"

"I'm afraid not, Mr. Curtis. Is there anything else?"

"Yes," I started, "when can I see him?"

"Visitation days are the Saturday after the first and the fifteenth from 1:00 to 4:00."

I wasn't about to wait another two weeks to see Soda. "Ms. Blake, Soda's birthday is on there any way I can see him then?" I really hated that I had to ask permission to see my own brother.

"Exceptions are always made for important occasions, such as birthdays. You can see him from 7:00 to 9:00 at our facility."

"Can I bring our friends?"

"I'm afraid not, Mr. Curtis. Family only."

There had to be a way we could all celebrate together. "Can I bring him to our house?"

Ms. Blake was silent for a few moments, then she sighed. "We'll see what can be done. I'll let you know by Thursday. Will there be anything else?" She sounded like she was getting frustrated with me.

"No, thank you," I said. "Have a nice day." I hung up. Silently, I hoped she had a rotten day.

I went back to cleaning. I could only hope I was doing the right thing here.

I stopped for lunch around 11:00 am. Thinking quick,I smiled to myself and grabbed my keys. I hopped in the truck and headed for the school. I knew Two-Bit and Steve would have their lunch break soon. They had had the same lunch period as Pony. If I was lucky, they would have seen Soda and could at least tell me if he was ok. If I was really lucky, Soda would be with them.

I pulled into a spot close to Two-Bit's car. I knew they didn't usually spend lunch at school. It was still drizzling, but I didn't think that would keep them at school.

It didn't take long for me to realize how lucky I was. I saw four familiar greasers heading for Two-Bit's car. They were jogging to stay as dry as possible. I honked the truck's horn. Johnny was the first to look up. A grin spread across his face when he realized I was sitting there. He quickly got the other guys to look up.

Soda broke into a full run then. I had just enough time to roll down my window a crack before Soda was standing beside the truck. He looked different. He had on a polo shirt and slacks. There was no grease in his hair. "How'd you know?" he asked breathlessly.

"Lucky guess," I said. "Now, get in the truck before you drown!"

It was a tight fit with all 5 of us in the truck, but we managed. I took us to The Dingo. Good food and good prices. Today, lunch was going to be on me. "What's with the duds?" I asked Soda.

"I didn't have any of my own clothes with me."

After that, Soda was strangely quiet. By the time we pulled in at The Dingo, I had had enough of it. "What's wrong, Soda?"

Soda looked down at his sneakers. At least he had something of his own. "Ms. Blake said..." he bit down on his lip, like what he was about to say would destroy him.

"That old bag's so full of hot air," Steve said.

"You know she is," I agreed. Soda had been the one to tell me that she was convinced that I made him drop out. Soda knew better than that.

Soda shrugged as best he could in the cramped cab and smiled. It wasn't a real smile though. It didn't reach his eyes. Something was still bothering Soda.

-  
A/N:  
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	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimer: I don't own any rights to The Outsiders. They all belong to S.E. Hinton.

Chapter 17

We had standard Dingo fare for lunch. Hamburgers, fries and sodas all around. I looked at each guy around the table. One blood brother and 3 other brothers. This was pretty much the brunt of the gang. Only Dally wasn't here with us. I wondered where he was. I hadn't seen him for almost a week.

Steve and Soda were goofing back and forth over who the waitress was really flirting with. Two-Bit kept egging them on. When it looked like one had the stronger flirting claim, Two-Bit would point something out that would help the other one. Johnny just sat there eating. I wished I knew how to make life better for Johnny.

"Anyone seen Dally lately?" I asked, interupting all of them.

"Saw him out at Buck's couple of days ago," Two-Bit said.

I nodded. I should have guessed that was the best I was going to get. When Dally didn't want to be found, he wouldn't be.

We piled back in the truck for the ride back to the school. Soda was complaining about how stupid it was for him to go to school in the first place. He thought he should be at the DX. I can't say I disagreed with him. I told him that until things got straightened out, he had to follow the rules. I also told him not to hassle the people at the home about it. I knew it was rotten, but I didn't want him to cause any problems. I didn't want to think about what Ms. Blake would do if he did.

When we got back to the school, Two-Bit, Steve and Johnny got out. I grabbed on to Soda's arm and nodded at the other three. They went off and Soda shut the truck door.

"What did Ms. Blake say that has you so worked up?" I asked.

Soda shifted uncomfortably in the seat. "Oh, I'm sure it's not true, like you and Steve said."

I leaned back against the door and crossed my arms over my chest as best I could. I didn't believe Soda for one second.

He squirmed for a few more minutes before blurting out "She said you were goin' to 'Nam now!"

I was stunned. "What?"

"She said that now that you couldn't claim guardianship of any minors you'd just as likely as not get drafted." Soda slumped back in his seat. He looked spent.

"I don't know about that," I said. "'Sides, I'm still fightin' for guardianship of you."

He looked at me whith a fear I hadn't seen since our parents died. "You are?"

"Of course, I am,! Did Ms. Blake say otherwise?"

Soda nodded slightly, but never took his eyes off of me. I've never been one to hit a woman, but Ms. Blake was coming dangerously close to that line. I was tired of her putting these ideas in Soda's head. He was already a mess with everything going on, she was only making things worse.

I looked Soda in the eyes. "I'm fightin' for you. I'll get you home soon. There's a court date sometime in January."

"January?" Soda practically whined. "That's 4 months away! A lot can happen in 4 months."

"Soda, don't you think I know that? I'm doin' the best I can."

Soda sighed. "I know you are, Darry. It's just all messed up."

We both heard the bell ring.

Soda gave me a quirky half smile. "I gotta go."

He opened the door and was gone before I could say anything,

I was trying to figure out if Soda was mad at the world or me specifically when I saw her, the red head who had come to our house asking about Pony. Maybe it would speed things up if she told Ms. Blake about that night. Then Ms. Blake would have no more reason to think I had anything to do with it. Then Soda could come home.

I got out of the trucck and hurried to catch her. When I got close enough, I said "Excuse me." I wasn't ready to admit that I couldn't remember her name.

She turned and looked at me. Her green eyes looked both glad and sad at the same time. I'm still not sure how she managed that one.

"You're Ponyboy's brother, right?"

"Yeah," I said and smiled my most charming smile.

"Is there something I can do for you?" she asked.

A dark haired girl called to her. "Come on, Cherry. We don't have that long."

So Cherry was her name. It made sense with her hair.

"Go on, Marcia, I'll catch up later," Cherry said. She turned back to me. "You must be Darry."

"How'd you know my name?"

Cherry laughed nervously. "Pony told me about his brothers. I saw Soda in the halls today so that just left you."

I wondered what Pony had told her. Soda had told me that Pony didn't think real highly of me. I wondered if Cherry would think the same.

"Why don't we get out of the rain?" I asked. "My truck's right over there."

Cherry didn't hesitate which surprised me a little. She headed to the truck I had pointed to. This girl, who didn't even know me, just trusted that I was ok. I was grease and she was Soc. I thought someone would have taught her better.

I opened the passenger door for her when we got to the truck. She slid in. I ran around the to get in the other side. "Is this your lunch period?"

"Yeah," Cherry said.

"Would you like to go somewhere? For lunch I mean! We can talk there."

"It's alright. I can't talk long. My boyfriend will be out in a few minutes to take me to lunch," she said. "Now, what was it you needed?"

This was the sticky part. I didn't even really know why I was trying. Hadn't she refused to help us once already? "I need you to tell someone what happened that night." I set one of Ms. Blake's business cards on the seat between us.

She looked at the card and paled a little. "I can't. You don't understand."

I had to admit I didn't understand. "You know something about the night my brother died. You probably know who did it. But you won't say anything. That about size things up?"

"It's not that easy. I know who was bragging about it, but that doesn't prove anything!" She was looking hard at me.

"Let me tell you something about proof. I'm sure it's all over by now anyway. Soda's been put in the boys' home because social services thinks I had something to do with that night. You know I didn't. I know I didn't. But there's no proof that I didn't. So they took Soda away. Proof is just a word. It doesn't mean anything."

She was still looking at me. I looked her right back, square in the eyes. Were there the hints of tears in her eyes?

A loud bang pulled us both out of our thoughts. I looked out the windshield, toward where the sound had come from. The Soc, who called Pony trash, was standing there, his fist still on the hood of my truck. I went to open my door. It was time to settle this.

By the time my first foot hit pavement, Cherry was already out of the truck.

"What do you think you're doing?" the Soc asked Cherry. He grabbed her arm roughly.

"Stop it, Bob. It's done. Let's go," Cherry said. She turned and flashed me a quick smile.

"And you," the Soc Cherry called Bob said, turning to face me, "stay away from my girl."

He led her off. I was pleased to see he was still limping. I wondered which one of us had gotten to his leg.

When I looked down, Ms. Blake's business card was gone.

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A/N:  
Thanks to those who have left reviews. As always, they are appreciated. 


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer: I don't own any rights to The Outsiders. They all belong to S.E. Hinton.

Chapter 18

I checked the mail when I got home. There were two envelopes inside. The top one was from the Oklahoma Department of Social Services. I couldn't see who the second letter was from. Once inside, I realized someone was already there. I set the two envelopes down on the coffee table, being sure to not expose who the second letter was from yet.

Sitting in the armchair was Tim Shepard. We weren't exactly what you would call buddies, but he was just as welcome here as the rest of the gang. He had a grim smile on his face. "Curtis," he said as way of hello.

"How's it goin', Tim?" I sat down on the couch opposite him.

"I need your help."

My head started to whirl. Shepard's gang was a lot tougher than ours. If he needed help in a fight, we'd be there. But he wouldn't ask for our help in a fight like that. If it were something else, I just don't know. "What do you need?"

"I neede you to look after my gang for awhile."

Tim wasn't making me feel any better about all of this. His answers were too vague. "What's goin' on?"

He looked at me then. His eyes were unnerving. They were empty, soulless, dead. I had never seen Tim Shepard look like this. "I got my notice today."

"Notice? You don't mean..." I couldn't finish that thought. It would bring it all way too close to home.

Tim nodded grimly. "I'm goin' to 'Nam."

We both sat there in silence for a minute, letting the reality of the situation sink in.

I was the first to break the silence. "Tim, I don't think I can run your gang. We're too different."

The corners of Tim's mouth turned upwards in an attempt at a smile. "Ray, my number 2, will be running the outfit until I get back."

"So, if Ray's runnin' things, what do you need me for?"

"Ray doesn't have the experience we do." Tim shrugged.

I was getting tired of his vague answers. I was on edge myself. Was that second letter my call to arms? "Spit it out, Shepard! What do you want from me?"

He held up his hands. "Easy, Curtis. I just want to know that if Ray needs some help, y'all will have his back."

I let out a deep breath. Of course we'd have Ray's back. We all tried to look out for each other here on the East Side. But would I still be here to carry that out? "Yeah, if Ray needs us, just have him let us know."

Tim stood up. He came over to me and shook my hand. "You're a good pal, Curtis."

One thing was still nagging at me a bit. "Why didn't you go to Dally?"

Tim laughed. "He don't got any brains." He waved as he walked out the door.

I sat back and stared at the two envelopes on the table. I knew that second envelope would haunt me until I opened it, but I wasn't ready yet. What if I did get sent to 'Nam? Who would run our gang? Tim had a number 2 but we weren't organized like that. Who could I count on? Two-Bit? Steve? Dally? Tim was wrong about Dally. Dally did have brains, but he also had a temper a mile wide. He'd end up getting the rest of the guys arrested, or worse. Two-Bit didn't take anything seriously enough to be a good leader. Steve's mouth was bound to get the gang in trouble. Johnny was too young and scared. And Soda was at the boys' home and would be if I got sent to 'Nam. Would our gang just fall apart? I couldn't bear that thought.

Who would take care of the house so I'd have a home to come back to? That one was easy enough. I'd send Johnny my paychecks and ask him to take care of things. He was responsible enough to pay bills. He just wouldn't make a good leader.

I shook my head. It was time to deal with this and know for sure. I flipped the two envelopes over and slid the bottom one out. This was the letter from Social Services. The other letter was still face down. They wanted to inform me that my presence was requested before some judge on Wednesday, January 12, at 1:00 pm over the matter of guardianship of one Sodapop Curtis. October had barely started. January seemed so far away. Besides if that second letter was what I thought it was, I was likely to be half way around the world.

Johnny, Steve and Two-Bit came in then. I grabbed the envelope that was on the table and headed for the kitchen. They didn't need to know just yet.

We chatted about mundane things. How the day at school was, if anything interesting happened in my day. I didn't tell them about Tim's visit. They told me that word spread quick when Soda showed up at school. Some of the Socs made it a point to give him a hard time about the boys' home. Steve said Soda didn't say a word to any of the Socs, that it was him and Two-Bit sticking up for Soda and me. Steve said that one of the Socs even said I could be a Soc now that all the grease was out of the way. I just shook my head. The things kids will come up with!

I made dinner for Two-Bit, Johnny and me. Steve had to work. I made soup. I figured it wouldn't take a lot of thought to make. My thoughts were all elsewhere right now.

Two-Bit left around 9. Said he needed to check in on his Mom and little sister. I thought he'd probably end up at Buck's before the night was over. Johnny was stretched out on the couch, watching TV. It wouldn't be long until he was asleep.

I quickly did up the dinner dishes. Really, though, I was still putting off that second letter. There wasn't anything I could do after the dishes were done. I pulled the letter out of the drawer I had put it in when the guys came in. It was still face down. It felt like a time bomb in my hand.

I took a deep breath and quickly flipped over the envelope. My eyes scanned what was written there. My breath came out in an almost hysterical laugh.

The letter I had worried about all day was the electric bill.

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A/N Sorry for the short chapter. More action in the next. As always reviews are appreciated! 


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